WAR OF THE SEXES

This is a work of fiction. It is a humorous take on the age old rivalry between the sexes and to the debate as to which is the stronger sex. The male sex organ i.e. the penis or the FEMALE sex organ, that is the VAGINA. I have given life to the sexual organ of the male and the FEMALE and in this war of words, the genitals argue out amongst themselves as to who is the stronger of the two. It’s an all out war between the penis and the VAGINA. Although this is a work of fiction, yet there are a lot of facts and morals in it to learn from and I’m sure it will make for an interesting read, especially for all WOMEN and it will also make them feel very proud to be born as WOMEN; much to the envy of men.  So here goes.

Once upon a time the penis and the VAGINA got to arguing as to who is the greater and stronger of the two, in terms of strength and power and also in terms of being able to defeat the other in the battle of fucking. The penis argued that he was stronger, whereas the VAGINA argued that SHE was stronger. Neither the penis nor the VAGINA was willing to surrender and concede defeat. The argument went on for a quite long time. At last the penis could take it no longer and getting excited, he stood erect exposing his pink head and stated in a very loud voice.

penis:  “I am the greatest and the strongest in the world, there is no one greater or stronger than me. Nobody has the guts or the courage to stand up and fight against me.” Flexing his muscles he said. “Just take a look at my huge long body and my strong muscles.  My strength is endless.  I am very brave and courageous and there is no one like me. I sent shivers down the spines of everybody who confronts me and so they never try to get into a fight with me. They escape as fast as they can. I can defeat and destroy the greatest of the great. You are just a small little VAGINA, how can you dare fight against me? If you value your miserable life then accept my superiority and accept me as your king and master and I will let you live, or else I challenge you to a duel wherein I will utterly destroy your very existence.”

Hearing this insolent bragging of the penis, the VAGINA got into a fit of rage and said.

VAGINA : “All through this while I used to consider you to be a little kid and so I ignored all your misdeeds, dismissing them as kids’ pranks, but today I’ll give you such a fitting reply that you’ll always remember it for the rest of your miserable life. You will regret this confrontation with me. I will make you regret your challenge to me”

“You are just a suckling kid; your milk suckling teeth haven’t even fallen as yet. The milk in your mother’s breast does not contain the strength to fight me. So how will you fight me?”

“You claim to be the greatest and the strongest but you are the greatest fool of all time as the one who himself says that he’s great, isn’t great at all, in fact he is just a stupid fool and an idiot.”

“Your huge long body is just a big sham, it is good for nothing, as I can reduce your huge long body to a wrangled mass of useless flesh in just one minute; it’s not at all a difficult task for me.”

“You can only boast of your bravery and courage amongst your friends for they will praise you but you cannot intimidate me with it.”

“Because, I am quite capable of destroying you and your bravery and courage, within no time at all.”

“You claim that everyone who sees you, tremble with fear in your presence, but I’m sorry to say that you’re sadly mistaken there.”

“You may be able to scare others but you can never manage to scare a VAGINA at all.”

“I may look small in appearance but you have no idea at all as to extent of my power and my strength.”

“And although I may be small, I can easily swallow you up wholly, and that’s a fact which you’re unaware of.”

“You can just manage to jump up and down like a monkey that’s all you can do.”

  “But when I swallow you up, I’ll put an end to your monkey jumps once and for all.”

‘You consider yourself to be the king of penis-land, but I too am no lowly creature.”

“I too am the great Queen of VAGINADOM, so I’ll not be intimidated by your useless threats.”

“If you want to live as a king forever, then you’d better stay put in your territory; don’t you ever try to enter into my territory.”

“For if you ever commit the mistake of entering into my territory then I’ll capture you and enslave you for life.”

“You claim to be a King but nobody ever respects or even salutes you.”

“On the contrary, whenever I appear before useless peniss like you, they at once stand erect in attention and salute me, just as a slave salutes his QUEEN.”

“The fact, that you’re standing erect in my presence even now, proves that I’m your QUEEN and you’re just my slave.”

“Just as a slave rises in attention, when he sees his boss, you too rose and became erect on seeing me, your boss and superior.”

“Whereas since I am your boss and superior, I am seated comfortably whilst you’re standing in attention in my presence.”

“My position is so great, that neither I nor will any other VAGINA, stand to respect to any silly, useless penis, but the same is not the case with you.”

“You’re bound to stand in attention whenever you encounter your boss and superior, the VAGINA.”

“You’re such a coward that you always need the protection of your two soldiers who’re the balls hanging below you. You’re terrified to move alone.”

“Whereas on the contrary I fight all my battles, all alone, without any help from anybody; no wimpy penis or dick can frighten me.”

“How will you manage to fight all alone against me, as you’re incapable of doing that on your own, so go and get some 10-12 more of your penis friends to help you fight against me but I assure you in spite of that, all you peniss together will never be able to defeat me.”

“Oh useless penis, bear in mind, that every penis comes into this world and takes birth through the opening of a VAGINA and so by that yardstick, every VAGINA is automatically greater than any penis, can’t you see that?”

“You too are very well aware of the fact that a VAGINA is far greater than a penis but you’re afraid to admit it openly.”  

“And if, in spite of knowing this you want to fight a superior VAGINA, then I think that you don’t value your life at all.”

“Get this in your mind kiddo, that no matter how big, fat, thick or strong a penis might be, he will always lose against, even the tiniest of VAGINAS.”

“Because each and every VAGINA possesses so much of strength and power that she can easily defeat the biggest and the strongest of penises.”

“A VAGINA has so much strength and power in her VAGINAL muscles that with those muscles she can destroy 100s of penises of your kind and all of you together also, will never be able to stand up against her superior might and power.”

“A VAGINA has the power to fight against 100s of penises and yet she has the capability to defeat all of them and emerge victorious from the fight.”

“In fact all you penises are just little toys in the hands of us VAGINAS, and we can amuse ourselves and play with you and use you for as long as we want and then we can discard you just like rag dolls.” 

“Just as a little girl winds up her toy and plays with it and then when she is tired, she breaks it and throws it away, so also we VAGINAS, can wind you penises up and make you erect for our pleasure and then we play with you and when you aren’t fit enough to be played with, we deflate your so called strong body by draining out all of your cum and then we discard you like as though you were a dead rat.”

“All of you penises have been created just to please us VAGINAS and to obey all our orders and if any penis disobeys our orders, we can punish them severely and destroy them completely.”

“We VAGINAS are so strong, that we can manage to give birth to a child, but you, as a penis cannot claim to do so, and this very fact is enough proof that a VAGINA is mightier, stronger and superior than a meager penis.”

“Remember this oh foolish penis that if a VAGINA can give you life (birth by the mother) so also, a VAGINA can destroy you and give you death (through a wife or a mistress) and so, not even in your wildest dreams should you think about competing against the superior might of a powerful VAGINA.”

“I am a big and well experienced VAGINA and so, there is no way that you can win against me. But you will also, never be able to defeat even a teenaged girl’s small and inexperienced VAGINA. She too will destroy you very easily.”            

“You talk about strength and bravery, but I have seen such cowardly and weak peniss that cannot even get fully erect. They need a lot of caressing and cajoling.

“And when they do get erect somehow and when they do go to fight against a VAGINA, they ejaculate their cum and surrender themselves even before they manage to enter into the fiery cavern of the mighty VAGINA.”

“As I listen to your boastful talks, I feel that you too are amongst those types of peniss who surrenders himself just at the entrance of the VAGINA.”

“I would not even care to piss on peniss such as you, as you don’t even deserve to drink my piss, as my piss is considered to be sacred nectar by all peniss and they crave for it, but I will not even give that to you.”

“Since time immortal, millions of peniss have tried to wage wars against VAGINAS but they have never been able to win the war till date. They have always lost very miserably against us VAGINAS.” They have been utterly routed and annihilated by us VAGINAS.”

“And so shall it be forever, that you, miserable peniss will always lose the battle against us VAGINAS, for that is the destiny of all you wretched worms.”

“And so I am warning you kid, so as not to interfere with me and if you value your precious life, run away from my wrath, run while you still have the time.”

“For if at all I get annoyed, I will trap you inside my powerful VAGINAL web and I will surely kill you”

“Then no amount of pleading and begging from your side to spare your life will ever save you”

“For if once any penis dares to enter into my fiery cave, then death is the only way out for him. There is no way he can escape his death.”

“I’m allowing you to escape because, even now I consider you to be just a naughty little kid, and because I know that you are in no way capable of fighting against me. I am also allowing you to go because I don’t like to fight and destroy kids like you.”

“And so I am being extremely generous in willing to allow you to escape from my powerful and strong clutches.”

“All of you penises are so weak that you cannot last too long into the fucking arena”

“As soon as you begin fucking, you become tired and drop your sperm; you become lifeless and surrender yourselves completely to us. You are completely at our mercy.”

“And we can do what we wish with you, we can either let you live or we can kill and destroy you.”

“After hearing to all this, you have started trembling from now itself and you have also started to cry.”

“I can see tears coming out of your one eye, and this is something you cannot deny. So how will you be able to fight me when you’re so scared?”

“I am your GODDESS and you’re just my worshipper, can’t you understand this simple fact?

“And instead of praying to me and worshipping me, you want to fight a great GODDESS like me; don’t you wish live?

“I have been trying to make you see reason, yet you don’t want to heed my advice, yet you’re standing erect with your red bulbous head held high. Nothing sensible will ever enter into that worthless head of yours.”

“Well, in that case I will cut off that haughty head of yours; I’m not going to spare your life today”

“You say you’re very brave isn’t it? Then why are you so scared at my sight? Don’t you have any guts in you?”

“You’re not brave at all; on the contrary you’re a gutless coward and a eunuch, that’s all what you are, as a matter of fact.”

“From now on, I have given you a new name and that would be, a eunuch and I will address you by this name from now on and forever, because you’re not a real man at all.”

“So you eunuch, if you so dare, come and enter into the arena of fucking and show me how good you really are and whether you’re even half as brave as you claim to be.”

“But I warn you not to leave the arena and flee just as the fight begins, as I know that you are bound to do that, as you are not strong enough to last till the end of the fight.”

“Today is the last day in your life; today I will destroy you and kill you; today you won’t be spared at all, so start saying your prayers sissy boy.”

“And henceforth, never even in your wildest dreams, will you ever contemplate on challenging any VAGINA, whether big or small, to a duel or a fight.”

On hearing such a bold, prolonged, fearless and forceful reply from the great QUEEN VAGINA, the penis started developing cold feet. He was terrified and wanted to back out from the fight, but then he would have been branded forever, as a real coward and he would lose face amongst his brethren. And so he tried to mask his fear and readied himself to fight the great VAGINA.  But no sooner had the fight begun, then the mighty VAGINA opened her red fiery mouth and swallowed his entire body, whole up to his balls, and then she started enjoying her dinner munching and crunching his whole body from top to bottom. She held him in the vice-like grip of her powerful VAGINAL muscles and began crushing his entire body. The poor penis was very badly trapped into her cage. The powerful QUEEN VAGINA had caught him from all sides, with no chance for escape. The penis felt that if he stayed here for even a minute longer, the great VAGINA would surely kill him. He wanted to get out of her fiery cave as fast as he could. So he tried his level best to struggle and wriggle himself out, but all his efforts to free himself failed. The more he struggled to free himself the more he got entangled as the great VAGINA had got him into an inescapable stranglehold. Now the penis could fully realize the real power and might of the great and mighty VAGINA. He was convinced that the great VAGINA was a thousand times stronger and more powerful than him. He wanted to save his life. At last, seeing that he was completely trapped and that, there was no way out for him to escape, he began pleading the great VAGINA to spare his life and so he pleaded with her.

penis: “Aaggrh! Please l-let me speak, oh great VAGINA. The VAGINA released her hold on his neck slightly only so that he could speak, but not enough for him to escape her clutches.”

VAGINA: “Speak you useless penis.”

               

penis:” Oh! Great Queen VAGINA, I humbly plead and beg of you, to please have mercy on me and spare my life. I surrender myself fully to you and accept that you are the greatest of all. I accept my total defeat at your hands.  You have defeated me totally and comprehensively.  You’re a thousand times greater and mightier than me. I accept my total defeat and surrender to you and accept you as my great  GODDESS and MISTRESS. I and my two guards surrender ourselves entirely to your might and we humbly accept to be your slaves forever and to serve you forever and ever. I pledge that I will never dare challenge any VAGINA in future. Please, please, please my QUEEN, have pity on me and spare my life and let me live. I do not want to die. I will be forever grateful to you, my QUEEN. Please free me and let me live, I beg of you. Please, oh great QUEEN, have mercy on me, your worthless slave penis.”

Hearing the penis pleading and begging for her mercy and seeing that he has been totally defeated and humiliated the great QUEEN VAGINA started laughing throatily.

VAGINA: “Ha, Ha, Ha. Are you pleading me now, to let you go? Are you begging that I should spare your life now and let you live? Do you accept your total defeat?”

penis: “Yes my great QUEEN and EMPRESS, I’m begging you to let me live. I accept my total defeat at your great hands. You’re too powerful for me or for any other penis.  No penis can ever think of trying to defeat you, ever. Have mercy on me, my Great and merciful QUEEN and please let me go.”

VAGINA: “What happened to the great penis with the great big and strong muscles, who said that he could very easily defeat the VAGINA? What happened to the great pride that you had in yourself? What happened to all the bragging and the boasts that you were boasting about? I have proved you wrong. By defeating you I have proved that you are nothing but a great load of shit. I want to shit on you. Eat my shit you worthless worm of a penis.” 

Penis: oh! Great QUEEN VAGINA. You’re absolutely right. I am indeed worthy of eating your shit. I promise to eat your shit always. To eat your shit would be an honor for me. I was living in a fool’s paradise and in a fantasy world. I was wrongly given to believe that all penises are greater and stronger than all the VAGINAS. But now I realize how wrong I was. I now realize that a single VAGINA, is a million times stronger and mightier than a hundred penises combined. The VAGINA is the most powerful in the world. Please free me and let me go, so that I may warn my brother penises about the mighty strength and power of the VAGINA, so that they too don’t ever dare to challenge a VAGINA, who is their QUEEN, GODDESS and MISTRESS.”

When the Balls saw their king pleading with the great QUEEN VAGINA, to spare his life, they too began to plead with the great QUEEN VAGINA to free their master. They said.

Balls: “Oh! Great and Mighty QUEEN, please forgive our king. Never in his wildest dreams had he thought that YOU would be so great and powerful. He was very foolish to have challenged your mighty power. We’re sure that he has learnt his lesson the harshest way. He will never dare to challenge a VAGINA again as long as he lives. Please, we beg of you, free our king and let him go.” Please spare his life for our sakes. Without him we will be orphaned with nowhere to go, so please let him live, we beg of you.” Hearing their pleas, the mighty VAGINA said to the penis.

VAGINA:  “Do you hear that, you pathetic coward? Can you hear your useless balls pleading for your freedom? Do you have anything to say to that, you spineless wimp of a penis? There is no way you could say a word, as I have choked you almost to death. Do you think you deserve to live? Do you think I should forgive you and let you go? I can’t hear you, you pathetic slave.

Penis: Aaggrh! Please l-let me speak, oh great VAGINA. The VAGINA again released her mighty choking hold on his neck a little bit, only so that he could speak, but not enough for him to escape her clutches.  “Speak now slave, she said.”

Penis:  “Thank you for allowing me to speak MISTRESS VAGINA. Please listen to my servants, sorry MISTRESS, they’re not my slaves now; they’re your slaves now, and so am I. all three of us are now your slaves forever. Please listen to them and let your pathetic slave live, so that we could serve you always. Please forgive me.”

VAGINA:  “You don’t deserve to live and I should have every intention to destroy you. But I will allow you to live just this once, so that you may spread the message to all the other penises, about the superiority, power and strength of the mighty VAGINA. So I will release you, but not before I punish you for daring to challenge me to a fight which you could never have won. I will punish you by draining you of all your power and by milking you of your total strength. Your useless sperm will be a lowly offering before the almighty Alter of my WOMANHOOD.”

And so, the Almighty VAGINA squeezed all the sperm out of the lowly penis and milked him completely dry. And after being satisfied that she had drained him completely, she spit out his lifeless, limp and useless body out, where the ever grateful balls carried his lifeless form onto their shoulders, to take him to the hospital for treatment. But before leaving, they acknowledged their gratitude to the Mighty VAGINA by profusely thanking her. They praised her saying.

Balls:  “Thank you oh great QUEEN VAGINA. We’re forever grateful to you, for releasing our master, who is now your lowly slave. Thank you.” And the penis and the balls began giving thanks to the great QUEEN VAGINA and they began singing her praises.

And so, by comprehensively defeating the penis, the Mighty VAGINA has proved that:

THE VAGINA IS STRONGER THAN THE penis.

THE VAGINA IS MIGHTIER THAN THE penis.

THE VAGINA IS GREATER THAN THE penis.

THE VAGINA IS MORE INTELLIGENT THAN THE penis.

THE VAGINA IS MORE CUNNING THAN THE penis.

THE VAGINA IS THE QUEEN AND THE penis IS HER LOWLY SLAVE.

THE EXISTENCE OF THE penis IS ONLY TO OBEY THE MIGHTY VAGINA AND TO SERVE HER ALWAYS.

LONG LIVE THE VAGINA!

LONG LIVE THE VAGINA!!

LONG LIVE THE VAGINA!!!

HAIL THE MIGHTY VAGINA!

ALL GLORY BE TO THE POWERFUL VAGINA!!

LET US ALL WORSHIP AND PRAY TO THE MOST POWERFUL VAGINA!!

AMEN.

BY  TIFFANY D’CRUZ