Determining

 

BY:

 

C. Oliver Farrell

 

The muffled hum and bustle of the downtown streets gets dimmer now as you take the left turn enveloping yourself in the alley way walls, mummified.  You know where you are.  This moment seems old, oblique in its familiarity yet as ordinary as two naked lovers.  Lightning pierces the horizon with intimacy allowing shadows to dance and write on urban designs, yet each shadow seems to have purpose, destiny and charisma.  You look at your watch not missing step.  Its 3:00AM and every breathe is in time with your stride… only moments now.  Thunder claps and crashes on your concentration.  “Will she be waiting, expecting me? Of course not” you mutter to your mind.  “Will she know me?”

 

You emerge from the passageway and you see your objective not but a few steps from where you pose.  A cigarette… your lighter… where is your lighter? Standing under the flicker of a street light among many, your Zippo flips open and the metallic click echoes and panics back towards your now seemingly historic steps.  You inhale and wonder why you wait.  Wonder if she will remember you; remember your touch, lips and eyes, and your purpose.  Why do you wait?  Its not fear or hesitation… Is it?  Another drag… a reflective pause.  Smoke streams from the benign glow of your cig circling and twisting into deformity, into beautiful oblivion.   Once more you put the filter to your lips and pull the intoxicating bitterness into your lungs, almost wantonly.  With one last glance over your shoulder you give silent homage to the night and let your cigarette plummet to the ground as it forfeits its existence under your determined step.  “Move forward”, you tell yourself… the time is now, Advance!

 

The building entrance bolts open as you approach; an anonymous Mr. gives you an anonymous nod as you grab the door before it slams shut.  The cold metal handle gripped, burning, taunting in its quiet lust.  How would you have gotten in if not for the stranger?  It’s been so long and your keys, lost now… a casualty of an epic journey.  You turn to find him, the stranger, to return the nod but the early hour shadows have stolen him as they often do with strangers.  The first drops of rain have come.  You can hear them cut the air and collapse on the lapels of your coat, an erotic free fall… a simple Baptism.  You step in through the threshold and your portal pounds shut behind.  No turning back, you know what you want.  You know what she silently craves. You remember everything, always.

 

Each time your boot caresses a step the wooden ascension and the leather that encases your foot groans sith anticipation, like the quiet sultry moan of a young girl discovering ecstasy in white picket fenced subdivisions.  With purpose you climb steadily and rhythmically until you reach her red door.  Suddenly you know exactly who you are if for only one brief moment of clarity.  You are sexual, you are carnal, and you are libidinous.  You raise your hand and turn the knob… Locked!  But your fingers still kiss the fixture, almost afraid to let go.  You panic for a moment and you put your other hand flat against the wood surface trying to feel her through the blockade, trying to project your heat and appetite.  You can almost smell her scent.  Obstacles have always seemed like an aphrodisiac.  You remember the key, the secret key taped to the bottom of the plant beside the door, that plant!  Carefully, you tip the pot and pull the tape back.  With a clink the metal submits to the floor.  It’s cold in your fingers… one last breath.  Her body and essence awaits your spirit, your cravings and your hunger.

 

Silently you enter closing the door behind you as gently as you would kiss a young virgin breast.  The leather of your trench coat crinkles and whines in the silence of the night with every move, every twitch.  You can hear her breathing through the bedroom door.  You are intoxicated by her innocence and scent… that scent, your expression is almost ravenous as you reflect… You touch the door surface, fingers so calloused, so wise.  You can almost feel her flame like the devouring inferno burning in the pit of your guts.  You turn the knob but it’s unlatched and the door gently caresses the darkened space and releases her delicate fragrances… angelic, brazen, and scarlet.  The dim light breaks through behind you, around you.  You stand and feast on her form gently shaped by the audacious aura.  The silence distinguishes you and eases you towards her.  Silence has always been your ally, your device.

 

You stand over her watching her body rise and fall with each and every weary breath.  Yours are in time.  The sheets invading her, fondling and petting her as if alive savagely covering only those spots that you must devour.  A leg, an arm, and her neck left exposed to the night… Exposed to you… You are at home in the darkness… this particular darkness… and her hair, flowing and shimmering down her spine to the gentle curve of her back that you have fallen out of time with so many times while delicately tracing your intent with your tongue and your teeth.  You feel hot, feverish as you sense the simple strain in your groin pressing against your jeans.  Pressing against your conation and you feel power… illicit and contemptible… delicious and raw.  She stirs, and the devilish covering reveals its mischief, shifting slightly to expose more delicate, supple flesh.  You groan as your hand involuntarily grips your enshrouded cock.  Her foot dangles free over the edge of the mattress.  You gaze upon it licking your lips, licking your pretense into submission.

 

Only moments have passed but eternities have been built and destroyed in less time.  You swallow hard as sweat forms on your brow and spine.  Clench your fists and calm your nerves.  You are him after all, and he is part of you… is you.  The one she has wanted and the one she has loved since the first touch, the first time you kissed, the first time you smelled her sex.  The first time you growled in her ear with such fever and greed… “I need to fuck you completely!”  You pull your coat over your shoulders and quietly place your shroud on the floor beside you.  Sit beside her now!  Your knees almost refuse to bend but your will is sturdier.  The bed squeaks and groans as it takes your weight.  She inhales deeply and begins to turn.  You stop her with one steady hand on her creamy shoulder, but she smells your cologne, the old warm leather of your trench coat and the lingering scent of tobacco.  “I’ve been waiting so long for you.”  You are silent.  “I didn’t think you were coming back,” her majestic eyes still shut.  Yet still you do not speak.  You caress her hair and tuck it back behind her ears.  Leaning down you gently kiss the side of her neck, her temple, her cheek.  You know she can feel the heat of your breath raking across her skin as you approach her ear.

 

“I’ve missed you,” You whisper hoarsely while gently caressing her hair.

“Make love to me, it’s been so long,” her sweet groggy voice disturbs your moment and you put a finger to her lips, “shhhhhhhhh” and she sucks it into her mouth, circling it with her tongue and grazing her teeth across your knuckles.  Your groin throbs as she groans and you feel the vibration down to your boots, to your essence.  You could lose yourself here if you give in.  Remember… Resist.  And you pull your fingers away from her beautiful lips as she desperately gasps.  For a moment you consider unzipping your pants and letting her fuck you with her mouth in that way that only she can, only she has learned.  But you are stronger than that!  “Tonight we play a new game.”  You breathily mutter so she can feel your words.  She sleepily smiles and before she speaks you put a hand over her mouth.

 

Her eyes have still not opened.  Still she lies in that euphoric state between sleep and wake but you feel her smile on the palm of your hand.  You stand and she rolls to her back and her eyes meet yours for the first time in days, weeks.  Intensity shoots from your stare and bewilderment crosses her brow.  “What kind of game?” she questions, or provokes?  Secretively and composedly you unbutton your shirt and pull it out from your belt fastened jeans and let it fall to the floor.  The remains of light from the window strikes your chest, defining your form and she sighs contentedly.  One step closer and bridge the distance between you and her, like barriers crumbling in front of a determined force.  And her hand reaches for yours.  You hold it for a moment caressing it between your fingers with one last thought of giving in to tenderness and falling to her side to kiss her breasts, her thighs, and her perfect cunt.  You release her hand without a sound and before she speaks you pull the sheets from the bed slowly, exposing her body.

 

She lays still, one arm by her side the other above her head.  You examine the sheer white nightgown, you love that one.  She wore that the second time you made love.  She looked angelic, serene.  And in that delicate passion you fantasized, dreamt while sliding and throbbing inside her of making her your whore, your personal depraved courtesan.  You hesitated then at exposing your barbarianism, will you now?  Still standing, you lean in close and put a hand on her chest.  Gently your fingers brush her skin and the neckline of the silky gown.  The fabric screams in your grip as you fill your hand with the cherished garment.  In a split second she meets your gaze wide eyed and surprised as you viciously tear the fabric from her body in one motion, the tattered rag now in your hand. 

 

You don’t think, you can hear her asking, confused.  With the other hand you pull her up to her feet and her body slams into yours, she grunts breathlessly.  Your hand scrapes up her spine… Badly manicured fingernails and labour hardened palms begin to feast on her flesh and gnaw on its purity.  She feels your fist tighten as it intertwines her hair, the strands locking around your knuckles.  Her eyes are on yours now, in you.  Her mouth distressed, anxious… And you pull her to you hard, forcing her lips open with your tongue.  You pull her back look into her eyes once more and see… feel fear, perhaps terror… This is what you wanted, wasn’t it?  Yes, this is real!  You spin her around and force her down to the bed stomach first and naked save her silk white panties.  You feel your blood boil your cock twitch and throb as you tear the last remaining piece from this work of art.  Sobbing, she looks back at you over her shoulder.  “Don’t move!” you bark.  “Its time you learned how little whores get treated!” 

 

She cries words like broken grails but they don’t register… or do they?  They fuel your fire don’t they?  You stare right through her for a moment but she starts to move.  You grab one wrist, two and wrap the shattered nightgown around her wrists… no tighter!  She is speechless now, breathy whines replaced by sobs, tears.  Your heart crunches and fills crunches and fills.  You are alive now; you are an inferno of lust, of animalism…love.  Her satin hands struggle but secured… you release your grip.  She hears your belt buckle open, your zipper drag… tooth after tooth after tooth and she trembles.  You here her, she whispers sweet prayers to generic creators and your cock screams to be released. 

 

Her perfect ass dances in front of you, that divine pussy quivering for a nightmare.  You place a hand on one milky cheek and she jolts as if her skin is blistering from the heat of your palm.  Run your finger over her cunt, lightly, lighter, invade… as she gasps.  Again she tries to cry… to plead.  You reach for her tattered panties finger still immersed in her, grinding, now two… No three and slam them hard against her, in her.  You purify her with your hand… again and again.  Let her feel your Masterdom.  “Just a prelude you little bitch,” you snarl.  And before she speaks you shove the severed undergarment in her mouth.  Your nails scrape her scalp and your hand forms a vice on the length of her silken strands.  Pull her to meet your gaze… fix.  But you say nothing and grunt hungrily.

 

Poised behind her now, cock in hand, and testicles swaying like cannon balls.  One foot on the bed… grab her neck, gripping… Pinch her nipple with the other hand no pinch hard, fucking harder.  She struggles and muffled whimpers, moans escape from her in sighs… “If you want to hurt more, keep moving,” you wrathfully lilt.  Release your holds, grab her hips.  Terrify her cunt… cock like a reaper you sink into her completely until your bodies collide.  You piston and grind as you reach for her throat and you wrap your fingers around it, clenching, suffocating.  Harder you crash and pull, master and teach.  Your body aches to its essence.  Time could stand still as energized as you are at this moment.  Tenderly you mash her pussy with all of you, everything that you are.  You thrust with the force of a savage barbarian.  Her gag falls free… “Fuck me you bastard,” she cries.  “Rape me like I am the last cunt on earth!” 

 

Your silhouettes bend and contort in the darkness.  And you are charred to your soul, lost in your precious victim.  Your cock tightens, your gut quakes, your thighs pulse and your mind scorched with hunger.  Impale her again, again… again as your breath draws in.  You explode lusciously, drenching her to her shadows and soaking her mind in mouthwatering cruelty.  And you collapse on her trembling body, sweat soaking her.  Spent, your body rolls to her side as she turns to meet your eyes.  You hand kisses her burning flesh as she quivers and shakes. Your finger slides through her beaten cunt as you coat it in you, your body and mind.  You offer it to her and without a word she engulfs her reward and savours you, still fixed in your passionate survey.

 

“I am yours now,” a single tear rolls to your cheek as you stare off into darkness.

“I love you” she ponders. 

Determining

BY:

C. Oliver Farrell

The muffled hum and bustle of the downtown streets gets dimmer now as you take the left turn enveloping yourself in the alley way walls, mummified.  You know where you are.  This moment seems old, oblique in its familiarity yet as ordinary as two naked lovers.  Lightning pierces the horizon with intimacy allowing shadows to dance and writhe on urban designs, yet each shadow seems to have purpose, destiny and charisma.  You look at your watch not missing step.  Its 3:00AM and every breathe you take is in time with your stride… only moments now.  Thunder claps and crashes on your concentration.  “Will she be waiting, expecting me? Of course not” you mutter to your mind.  “Will she know me?”

You emerge from the passageway and you see your objective not but a few steps from where you pose.  A cigarette… your lighter… where is your lighter? Standing under the flicker of a street light among many, the Zippo flips open and the metallic click echoes and panics back towards your now seemingly historic steps.  You inhale and wonder why you wait.  Wonder if she will remember you; remember your touch, lips and eyes, and your purpose.  Why do you wait?  Its not fear or hesitation… Is it?  Another drag… a reflective pause.  Smoke streams from the benign glow of your cig circling and twisting into deformity, into beautiful oblivion.   Once more you put the filter to your lips and pull the intoxicating bitterness into your lungs, almost wantonly.  With one last glance over your shoulder you give silent homage to the night and let your cigarette plummet to the ground as it forfeits its existence under your determined step.  “Move forward”, you tell yourself… the time is now, Advance!

The building entrance bolts open as you approach; an anonymous Mr. gives you an anonymous nod as you grab the door before it slams shut.  The cold metal handle gripped, burning, taunting in its quiet lust.  How would you have gotten in if not for the stranger?  It’s been so long and your keys, lost now… a casualty of an epic journey.  You turn to find him, the stranger, to return the nod but the early hour shadows have stolen him as they often do with unknowns.  The first drops of rain have come.  You can hear them cut the air and collapse on the lapels of your coat, an erotic free fall… a simple Baptism.  You step in through the threshold and your portal pounds shut behind.  No turning back, you know what you want.  You know what she silently craves. You remember everything, always.

Each time your boot caresses a step of the wooden ascension the leather that encases your foot groans with anticipation, like the quiet sultry moan of a young girl discovering ecstasy in white picket fenced suburbia’s.  With purpose you climb steadily and rhythmically until you reach her red door.  Suddenly you know exactly who you are if for only one brief moment of clarity.  You are sexual, you are carnal, and you are libidinous.  You raise your hand and turn the knob… Locked!  But your fingers still kiss the fixture, almost afraid to let go.  You panic for a moment and you put your other hand flat against the wood surface trying to feel her through the blockade, trying to project your heat and appetite.  You can almost smell her scent.  Obstacles have always seemed like an aphrodisiac.  You remember the key, the secret key taped to the bottom of the plant beside the door, that plant!  Carefully, you tip the pot and pull the tape back.  With a clink the metal submits to the floor.  It’s cold in your fingers… one last breath.  Her body and essence awaits your spirit, your cravings and your hunger.

Silently you enter closing the door behind you as gently as you would kiss a young virgin breast.  The leather of your trench coat crinkles and whines in the silence of the night with every move, every twitch you make.  You can hear her breathing through the bedroom door.  You are intoxicated by her innocence and scent… that scent, your expression is almost ravenous as you reflect… You touch the door surface, fingers so calloused, so wise.  You can almost feel her flame like the devouring inferno burning in the pit of your guts.  You turn the knob but it’s unlatched and the door gently caresses the darkened space and releases her delicate fragrances… angelic, brazen, and scarlet.  The dim light breaks through behind you, around you.  You stand and feast on her form gently shaped by the audacious aura.  The silence distinguishes you and eases you towards her.  Silence has always been your ally, your device.

You stand over her watching her body rise and fall with each and every weary breath.  Yours are in time.  The sheets invading her, fondling and petting her as if alive savagely covering only those spots that you must devour.  A leg, an arm, and her neck left exposed to the night… Exposed to you… You are at home in the darkness… this particular darkness… and her hair, flowing and shimmering down her spine to the gentle curve of her back that you have fallen out of time with so many times while delicately tracing your intent with your tongue and your teeth.  You feel hot, feverish as you sense the simple strain in your groin pressing against your jeans.  Pressing against your conation and you feel power… illicit and contemptible… delicious and raw.  She stirs, and the devilish covering reveals its mischief, shifting slightly to expose more delicate, supple flesh.  You groan as your hand involuntarily grips your enshrouded cock.  Her foot dangles free over the edge of the mattress.  You gaze upon it licking your lips, licking your pretense into submission.

Only moments have passed but eternities have been built and destroyed in less time.  You swallow hard as sweat forms on your brow and spine.  Clench your fists and calm your nerves.  You are him after all, and he is part of you… is you.  The one she has wanted and the one she has loved since the first touch, the first time you kissed, the first time you smelled her sex.  The first time you growled in her ear with such fever and greed… “I need to fuck you completely!”  You pull your coat over your shoulders and quietly place your shroud on the floor beside you.  Sit beside her now!  Your knees almost refuse to bend but your will is sturdier.  The bed squeaks and groans as it takes your weight.  She inhales deeply and begins to turn.  You stop her with one steady hand on her creamy shoulder, but she smells your cologne, the old worn leather of your trench coat and the lingering scent of tobacco.  “I’ve been waiting so long for you.”  You are silent.  “I didn’t think you were ever coming back,” her majestic eyes still shut.  Yet still you do not speak.  You caress her hair and tuck it back behind her ears.  Leaning down you gently kiss the side of her neck, her temple, her cheek.  You know she can feel the heat of your breath raking across her skin as you approach her ear.

“I’ve missed you,” You whisper hoarsely while gently caressing her hair.

“Make love to me, it’s been so long and I’ve needed you,” her sweet groggy voice disturbs your moment and you put a finger to her lips, “shhhhhhhhh” and she sucks it into her mouth, circling it with her tongue and grazing her teeth across your knuckles.  Your groin throbs as she groans and you feel the vibration down to your boots, to your essence.  You could lose yourself here if you give in.  Remember… Resist.  And you pull your fingers away from her beautiful lips as she gasps desperately.  For a moment you consider unzipping your pants and letting her fuck you with her mouth in that way that only she can, only she has can… only she has learned.  But you are stronger than that!  “Tonight we play a new game.”  You breathily mutter so she can feel your words.  She sleepily smiles and before she speaks you put a hand over her mouth.

Her eyes have still not opened.  Still she lies in that euphoric state between sleep and wake but you feel her smile on the palm of your hand.  You stand and she rolls to her back and her eyes meet yours for the first time in days, weeks.  Intensity shoots from your stare and bewilderment crosses her brow.  “What kind of game?” she questions, or provokes?  Secretively and composedly you unbutton your shirt and pull it out from your belt fastened jeans and let it fall to the floor.  The remains of light from the window strikes your chest, defining your form and she sighs contentedly.  One step closer and bridge the distance between you and her, like barriers crumbling in front of a determined force.  And her hand reaches for yours.  You hold it for a moment caressing it between your fingers with one last thought of giving in to tenderness and falling to her side to kiss her breasts, her thighs, and her perfect cunt.  You release her hand without a sound and before she speaks you pull the sheets from the bed slowly, exposing her body.

She lays still, one arm by her side the other above her head.  You examine the sheer white nightgown, you love that one.  She wore that the second time you made love.  She looked angelic, serene.  And in that delicate passion you fantasized, dreamt while sliding and throbbing inside her of making her your whore, your personal depraved courtesan.  You hesitated then at exposing your barbarianism, will you now?  Still standing, you lean in close and put a hand on her chest.  Gently your fingers brush her skin and the neckline of the silky gown.  The fabric screams in your grip as you fill your hand with the cherished garment.  In this split second she meets your gaze wide eyed and surprised as you viciously tear the fabric from her body in one motion, the tattered rag now in your hand. 

You don’t think, you can hear her asking, confused.  With the other hand you pull her up to her feet and her body slams into yours, she grunts breathlessly.  Your hand scrapes up her spine… Badly manicured fingernails and labour hardened palms begin to feast on her flesh and gnaw on its purity.  She feels your fist tighten as it intertwines her hair, the strands locking around your knuckles.  Her eyes are on yours now, in you.  Her mouth distressed, anxious… And you pull her to you hard, forcing her lips open with your tongue.  You pull her back look into her eyes once more and see… feel fear, perhaps terror… This is what you wanted, wasn’t it?  Yes, this is real!  You spin her around and force her down to the bed stomach first and naked save her silk white panties.  You feel your blood boil your cock twitch and throb as you tear the last remaining piece from this work of art.  Sobbing, she looks back at you over her shoulder.  “Don’t move!” you bark.  “Its time you learned how little whores get treated!” 

She cries words like broken grails but they don’t register… or do they?  They fuel your fire don’t they?  You stare right through her for a moment but she starts to move.  You grab one wrist, two and wrap the shattered nightgown around her delicate limbs… no tighter!  She is speechless now, breathy whines replaced by sobs, tears.  Your heart crunches and fills crunches and fills.  You are alive now; you are an inferno of lust, of animalism…love.  Her satin hands struggle but secured… you release your grip.  She hears your belt buckle open, your zipper drag… tooth after tooth after tooth and she trembles.  You here her, she whispers sweet prayers to generic creators and your cock screams to be released. 

Her perfect ass dances in front of you, that divine pussy quivering for a nightmare.  You place a hand on one milky cheek and she jolts as if her skin is blistering from the heat of your palm.  Run your finger over her cunt, lightly, lighter, invade… as she gasps.  Again she tries to cry… to plead.  You reach for her tattered panties finger still immersed in her, grinding, now two… No three and slam them hard against her, in her.  You purify her with your hand… again and again.  Let her feel your Masterdom.  “Just a prelude you little bitch,” you snarl.  And before she speaks you shove the severed undergarment in her mouth.  Your nails scrape her scalp and your hand forms a vice on the length of her silken strands.  Pull her to meet your gaze… fix.  But you say nothing and grunt hungrily.

Poised behind her now, cock in hand, and testicles swaying like cannon balls.  One foot on the bed… grab her neck, gripping… Pinch her nipple with the other hand no pinch hard, fucking harder.  She struggles and muffled whimpers, moans escape from her in sighs… “If you want to hurt more, keep moving,” you wrathfully lilt.  Release your holds, grab her hips.  Terrify her cunt… cock like a reaper you sink into her completely until your bodies collide.  You piston and grind as you reach for her throat and you wrap your fingers around it, clenching, suffocating.  Harder you crash and pull, master and teach.  Your body aches to its essence.  Time could stand still as energized as you are at this moment.  Tenderly you mash her pussy with all of you, everything that you are.  You thrust with the force of a savage barbarian.  Her gag falls free… “Fuck me you bastard,” she cries.  “Rape me like you own me!” 

Your silhouettes bend and contort in the darkness.  And you are charred to your soul, lost in your precious victim.  Your cock tightens, your gut quakes, your thighs pulse and your mind scorched with hunger.  Impale her again, again… again as your breath draws in.  You explode lusciously, drenching her to her shadows and soaking her mind in mouthwatering cruelty.  And you collapse on her trembling body, sweat soaking her.  Spent, your body rolls to her side as she turns to meet your eyes.  You hand kisses her burning flesh as she quivers and shakes. Your finger slides through her beaten cunt as you coat it in you, your body and mind.  You offer it to her and without a word she engulfs her reward and savours you, still fixed in your passionate survey.

“I am yours now,” a single tear rolls to your cheek as you stare off into darkness.

“I love you” she ponders.