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su-li and Donkey Author: A.Broadsword
(Added on Mar 23, 2008) (This month 24184 readers) (Total 44228 readers)
Oxford graduate falls foul of Luck fu to become two dollar whore who enjoys sex with Eeore the Donkey

Ratings and Reviews:
Number of Ratings: 6
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0% 33% 17% 0% 17% 0% 0% 0% 17% 17%
Weighed Average (?): (5.5/10)
Average Rating: (5.5/10)
Highest Rating: (10/10)
Lowest Rating: (2/10)

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Reviewer: nassim (Edit) Rating: May 3, 2011
Another misunderstood gem. (9/10)

Reviewer: Eric Boss (Edit) Rating: Feb 15, 2009
Your imagination is so in tune with mine ... I can't thank you enough ... I hope your ocontinue writing .......... fucking brilliant story .... (10/10)

Reviewer: chksng19 (Edit) Rating: Mar 29, 2008
As the others have said, there is the outline of a real story here. This is a shambles, though, because of bad grammar, misused caps, and more.
Expand this story to about 20 times the size, going slowly and carefully to make the story fun. Have it edited by someone who cares. Then post it again. Good luck! (2/10)

Reviewer: fellatrix (Edit) Rating: Mar 28, 2008
Possibly some nice ideas here, but perfunctory writing. (3/10)

Reviewer: pangent617 (Edit) Rating: Mar 27, 2008
The ideas had some merit, but the writing damaged the story immensely. The writing is jerky not only because the thoughts are incomplete, but also the ideas collide. The violence seems gratuitous and not really necessary. There is little character description so it is difficult to identify with either the victim or the perpetrator. Again the idea has merit but it needs a lot more in the way of rendering. I am sorry that I can not rate it higher, but hopefully you can find a way to develop the writing to justify your novel ideas. (2/10)

Reviewer: JimmyJump (Edit) Rating: Mar 26, 2008
This could do as a pitch to some producer, because it just reads like a pitch, or synopsis, if you like. Between most sentences, there's like complete books missing. Writing a short story doesn't mean you have to leave out the storyline, plot and body of the tale.
Actually, I should give you a 10, for you are the first person I 'encounter' that manages to cram, what seems like a 600-page book, into a 5kb textfile.
I'm not going to argue over eventual writing skills, because first, it's not my place, and second, the story, massacred tho it seems, still has potential... if the time should be taken to work it out properly...
JJ (5/10)

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