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| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
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| 1 |
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| 0% |
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17% |
33% |
33% |
17% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Razor7826
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 3, 2008 |
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The formatting, grammatical errors, and obviously missing words make this extremely difficult to read. It is hard to follow the characters actions or understand their characterization without proper formatting. Furthermore, I think doing so will allow you to analyze your own work better so that you may address the subtler problems.
EDIT: Oh, and you really need story codes. There are often unpleasant surprises in stories that lack codes (snuff or torture, namely) that many readers won't risk reading unlabeled submissions. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
ec1818
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 21, 2007 |
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it was a good story but i would like to read the rest of it if there is one thank you (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 16, 2007 |
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Perhaps English is not your first language? Your sentence structure is awful as is your formatting. You don't seem to have a clue what constitutes a paragraph or how to write a conversation that has proper punctuation. Your story idea and you topic are both good but don't quite make it. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
ladychipmunk
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 10, 2007 |
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I really liked the story. However it was hard to read with the repeated "I said"s. Maybe some quotation marks would help. I also think some proof reading is in order. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
bbwsfslut
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 10, 2007 |
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I liked your fantasy and storyline. You need some proof-reading and that could improve it. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 7, 2007 |
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not bad for a basic story but no real shick value, nothingi have not read nother stories, no original (6/10)
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