|
|
|
|
|
Baby Business
Author: margot
|
| |
(Added on Oct 24, 2007)
(This month 58214 readers) (Total 75855 readers) |
| |
Girl is kidnapped to have babies which will be sold to adoption agencies. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
0% |
33% |
0% |
0% |
67% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (6/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 9, 2009 |
| |
you badly need grammerical work and proof reading,lack of both took the joy out of reading the story (6/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
bmtphoenix
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 14, 2007 |
| |
Decent, but do some proofreading before putting it up. (6/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 1, 2007 |
| |
So many grammar and word choice errors that it hardly earns a rating, but please, the idea has possibilities. Perhaps a co-author or good editor could help.
A constant run of short sentences has its place, but when that is all you have, it makes the story sound like something out of a second grade primer. Complex sentences allow more choices of words, more modifiers, and, typically, a smoother flow to the writing. (3/10)
|
|
|
About 