|
|
|
|
|
Freeze frame
Author: Cougar
|
| |
(Added on May 6, 2007)
(This month 18914 readers) (Total 31571 readers) |
| |
Jeremy has realised the ultimate dream - he has created a machine which can freeze time. He alone in the world is able to move. He wastes no time in using his new freedom to grope, sexually assault and rape the schoolgirls in his class, and the younger teenagers next door, before moving futher afield to satisfy his greedy lust. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
75% |
0% |
25% |
0% |
0% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (6.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (6.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
La Toya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 23, 2007 |
| |
Chapters need to be longer! He should of start time again at the school before heading to the city. (6/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Mothbrad
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 17, 2007 |
| |
Interesting start to the story about a guy who can freeze time, and does what is really the only obvious thing to do. Anyway, I would have preferred a point when the girls spring back to 'life', and have to deal with what's happened to them. At the moment it's a bit like the hero's in a room full of mannequins. Hope there's more to come. (6/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Cougar
(Edit) (May 19, 2007)
- I should admit here that I submitted the first chapter in haste, before it was really finished. I have now submitted chapter 2, which is awaiting approval and uploading, in which he goes on to commit many of the acts promised in the story synopsis. I am currently working on chapter 3, in which there is some reanimation. I can't give too much detail away as it would spoil things for people who are following it. I agree there has to be some interaction from the girls to make it complete. Be assured, it is coming...
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Sara5
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 10, 2007 |
| |
I like this story, it is similar to a fantasy I had as a schoolgirl, actually. It is well written and brings back memories. I don't know if the author has read a book called "The Fermata" by Nicholson Baker, but elements of this story remind me of that. Keep going, only please avoid some of the long winded elements of the above book, as the author says...the potential is vast (8/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Cougar
(Edit) (May 19, 2007)
- Thanks Sara5. I haven't read that book, but maybe I should check it out anyway. Some of the inspiration came from the film "The Hollow Man", where a man becomes invisible and subsequently uses his invisibility to spy on a woman. I forget all the details.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Skruddgemire
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 8, 2007 |
| |
Needs to be longer. Good concept but needs more exploration of the temporally frozen world. (6/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Cougar
(Edit) (May 8, 2007)
- Thanks for your comments. The story has just begun. I'll add to it as time permits...the potential is vast.
|
|
|
About 