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Extinguishing the Rebellion
Author: LargeSpoon
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(Added on Mar 9, 2007)
(This month 83462 readers) (Total 117601 readers) |
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As a new World War consumes Europe in the not-too-distant future, pockets of rebellion have sprouted up to overthrow the oppressors. Unfortunately, the occupying army is not kind to any rebels it manages to capture... |
Ratings and Reviews: |
Number
of Ratings: 2 |
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Weighed
Average (?): (6.5/10) |
Average
Rating: (7/10) |
Highest
Rating: (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating: (7/10) |
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Reviewer:
Curtis
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 22, 2007 |
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You write well, but I'm curious about your topic. You're actually telling a story here and writing around the bad things that happen to the women, as if you WANT to write about their tortures but are ashamed of them? (So much for my amateur psychoanalysis.) I do wish the print was darker and a larger font, but considering the problems this site is having with formatting, I should just be happy that it's readable. You do have a few problem with 'wrong word' misspellings ('vein' when you meant 'vain'), but not too many. Your characterizations are good, and you do an excellant job of setting the scene. You also avoid some of the stock cliche's. (Is there such a thing as an un-stock cliche?) I guess I just wish there was either more sex or more violence, but you do understand your craft. You might be more comfortable writing for a different audience. I'm glad you decided to try again. (7/10)
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- Replied by:
largespoon
(Edit) (Mar 16, 2007)
- Well, I'm trying to make the characters sympathetic, hence why it seems that I'm ashamed of them.
The print comes up in a black font on a white background for me, I'm not sure what problems you're having. I'm not into some of the stock cliches... leather, ball gags, straight women spontaneously turning into sex-crazed lesbians. I'm also not into scatology or other fetishes that sometimes go along with BDSM, and I'm really not into dismemberment or serious mutilation. So, I guess you can know what to expect :)
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Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 10, 2007 |
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Not a bad start; good background and fine, realistic action. Hope you keep more coming! (7/10)
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- Replied by:
largespoon
(Edit) (Mar 16, 2007)
- Thanks for the review... anyone who likes the story, let me know.
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