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Gang Debt
Author: scabrat
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(Added on Sep 5, 2006)
(This month 13742 readers) (Total 31590 readers) |
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Thing can go bad if you work for the kind of people that you wouldnt want to cross. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 5 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6/10) |
Average
Rating:  (6.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Mothbrad
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 20, 2006 |
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Although, as mentioned, the story lacks originality, it still kept me wanting to read right through to the end. I won't say I was particularly surprised by how it ended, but I wasn't disappointed either.
A suggestion - have fun with detailing the action - that's the part I enjoy the most when writing, and find the structural/plot parts (which you seem to have pretty well under control) tedious. Hope to read more from you in the future. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
General_Dom
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 27, 2006 |
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You definitely want to keep up your writing. All I can say with regards to your struggling with the reactions is to try an put yourself in the victim's place. All good BDSM fiction gives the readers a bit of both sides, usually more on the side they're bent towards (dom/sub). I enjoy underworld type stuff like this, though. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
Millie
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 6, 2006 |
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This has been done over and over, it was never more than a story about the innocent being framed and the guilty getting away with it. You writing was ok though and with a more original storyline would probably be even better.
(6/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 6, 2006 |
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the story was ok but nothing that realy struck me, not realy hot or enticing (6/10)
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- Replied by:
scabrat
(Edit) (Sep 6, 2006)
- I'd like to thank you very much for taking the time to give feedback. I have to say that after reading it back to myself when it went on to the site, it was a rather bland relfection of what ws happening in my mind. So I'd have to agree with your review. I would say that this was not a complete story, just the introduction, but I didnt seem to make that clear either. It was all a bit hurried. It was never going to be manically active, but I guess get the more subtle and psychological aspects require skills I do not yet posess. I think simply going through the motions of uploading this first attemp was a useful learning exerience, and may consider a complete re-edit. Though I gues the damade is done now. As I said, it reall was a very first effort, so thank you again for your review, such feedback is essential for me to improves. Thanks. scabrat.
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| Reviewer:
Lee Boudine
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 6, 2006 |
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Moments of brilliance, but over all somewahat superficial. It lacked detailed visual description and the reactions of the characters were shallow.
The plot, scene, and characters have great potential to be edited. and expanded. (6/10)
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- Replied by:
scabrat
(Edit) (Sep 6, 2006)
- I'd like to thank you very much for taking the time to give feedback. I have to say that after reading it back to myself when it went on to the site, I found it a rather bland reflection of what was happening in my mind. So I'd have to agree with your review. I would say that this was not a complete story, just the introduction, but I didnt seem to make that clear either. This version was all a bit hurried. In fact it was tamed down and altered a massive amount compared to the original draft, just to keep it as an indroduction (failure). It was never going to be manically violent, and I wanted the violence threatened or inferred, rather than graphic, I wanted to portray the squirming, humiliation and fear more, but I guess those more subtle and psychological aspects require skills I do not yet posess. I think simply going through the motions of uploading this first attempt was a useful learning exerience Though, and may consider a complete re-edit. Though I guess the damage is done now. As I said, it really was a very first effort, so thank you again for your review, such feedback is essential for me to improve. Thanks. scabrat.
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