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The Dinner Party
Author: ManTrax
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(Added on Jan 27, 2004)
(This month 56029 readers) (Total 77612 readers) |
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A young shy submissive wife has been trained by a friend of her husband. An older professional trainer of sexual submissives. Her first exhibition takes place at the home of her trainer at a formal dinner party. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 7 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6/10) |
Average
Rating:  (6.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Nev
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 17, 2004 |
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I am looking forward to the next instalment.
I am surprised at the lowe ratings it has received. It may not be a work of great gramatical context suitable for examination study, but I am mor interested in the story than the English rules. (8/10)
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- Replied by:
ManTrax
(Edit) (Feb 17, 2004)
- Thank you Nev these few hundred words are from a novel that I am working on and I posted this small bit to see if the eroticism was coming through and unfortunately when I converted the Word .doc to .txt to post I did not check it carefully and thus insulted folks who insist on correct grammar as they should. But I am fine with the reviews because they are right. I should have proofed the .txt file before I posted it and I got my answer. Readers are getting the "heat" and I have an editor who will do what I did not to the other chapters. Send me your email and I will let you see future parts before they are posted. Again, thank you for seeing beyond the grammar. ManTrax
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| Reviewer:
jbowler65
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 1, 2004 |
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We have to concur with the other reviewers on this one. The content of the story was absolutely fantastic, but it was quite difficult to read. A little more time proofing the story will help a great deal. (6/10)
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- Replied by:
ManTrax
(Edit) (Feb 1, 2004)
- Thank you for taking the time to review my story. I wrote it in word then saved it as a text file (though not very well). I ran spellcheck several times but again not enough. This was my first attempt at publishing any of my stories and I promise to be more careful in the future. Again thank you for your input it helps.
ManTrax
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| Reviewer:
boccaccio2000g
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 31, 2004 |
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The other comments are right on the mark. This story generates a commendable amount of 'heat' and in that respect it is very stylishly written indeed. But punctuation exists to serve the reader, not the author. Half an hour or so of diligent proof-reading would have earned the author another three 'points' from this reviewer. /// To all authors -- please, please, please don't be in such a rush to see your story in print. Take the time to go over it carefully, to make it the best it can be. If you're unsure of the spelling, look the word up. If you're unsure of grammar or punctuation, show it to a couple of other people. Doing these things is not a confession of weakness, but rather a demonstration of the pride you take in your hard work. The best authors in the world check their work religiously; can you afford to do less if you want to write a quality story? (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
hungryslave
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 29, 2004 |
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I enjoyed the humiliation of performing in front of an unsuspecting audience but it was a rather hard read due to lacking of structure and punctuation usage. That drew from being able to hold me raptly. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
CruelSteve
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 29, 2004 |
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I really enjoyed this story. One of the best I have read for many a long year. I found the imagery so compelling and captivating and erotic. My only complaint is that it was a bit gentle for my tastes, but lets see what follows... (8/10)
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- Replied by:
ManTrax
(Edit) (Mar 22, 2004)
- Watch closely for the novel "Sand Dancing" but buckle your seat belt tight. It is going to be an interesting trip. It will be a while yet but please be patient. It will be worth the wait.
Thank you for taking the time to see beyond my stupid grammar mistakes. I was as always in a hurry but I got my answer.
ManTrax
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| Reviewer:
Moggy
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 27, 2004 |
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I have to echo bdsmbill's remarks on the construction of this story. I found the writing style too challenging, although perhaps I'm more distracted by writing style than others. Hence, erotic writing works best for me when the words and sentences function like a clear window between the reader and the story. This story wasn't like that. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
bdsmbill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 27, 2004 |
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The story itself was pretty good, and I wish I could give a higher rating. Unfortunately the complete disregard for grammar and punctuation was very distracting. These aren't just arbitrary rules. Their purpose is to make writing pleasant and easy to read. If later chapters are improved in this regard, I will up my score. (5/10)
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