Accepting Who I Am

ACCEPTING WHO I AM

BY

Beverly Adams

I never cared for mingling in a crowd of people, especially those who are drinking and loud, and when Diane asked me to come to a party her and Ed were having, I was hesitate to give her an answer. Diane is my best friend, and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but at the same time I felt I owed her much. When I first came to town she helped me through some hard times, and she understood the things I faced when moving to a strange city and a new job. I had left my hometown because of several failed relationships, which took their toll emotionally, and I felt I needed to get away, maybe start over with new friends and do things to shield myself from all the old mistakes of the past. Since I've moved to Bridgeport, I had spent my nights and weekends in my apartment with my cat Oscar and curled up with a good book. But Diane kept the pressure on all week at work until I finally accepted her invitation.

One of the reasons I dropped out of the dating scene, I hated the feeling I got from preparing for a date or a party. I would go through this ritual as if I was preparing myself to be sacrificed to the sex gods. I would lie in a tub of hot soapy water, using the wet heat to open the pores of my skin, and then I would pour rose scented oil onto my body, and gently massage the fragrance of the warm liquid into my flesh until it made me feel warm and fresh inside.

In preparing for Diane's party was no different. I went to the closet, and went through looking at each dress. I laid each garment I chose to wear on the bed like they were royal garments for a queen. Out of the corner of my eye I caught the reflection of my body in the full-length mirror. I have always been proud of my body, and always felt my legs were my best assets. They were long, and when I wore spiked heels they looked long, firm, and sexy. I watched myself in the mirror as I slowly dressed. Since I planned to wear no panty hose, I slipped on a pair of lavender T-back panties, and a bra to match. The hem of the dress came two inches above my knees to accent my legs. After I got dressed, I set in front of the mirror and after an hour of fixing my make-up and my shoulder length red hair I headed off to the party.

Diane answered the door, and it took me by surprise to see her in a black low cut silk blouse with no back, and a mini skirt that came to about mid thigh. In all the months I had known Diane she had never dressed in something so revealing.

"About damn time you got here," Diane said, giving me a hug.

"Sorry I'm late, the traffic was terrible," I replied.

"Hey everyone this is Beverly, she is a friend of mine from work, and I want everyone to welcome her," Diane said in a loud voice.

There were an equal number of men and women, and they were scattered about the large living room and each involved in their own private conversation. Diane took me around introducing me to everyone. I knew a couple from work, but most I didn't know. One couple that caught my attention, were a husband and wife who were dressed in black, and she wore a black collar around her neck, and a chrome chained leash that her husband held in his hand. I had never been around such strange people, and figured I would never fit in. It surprised me that Diane and Ed were associated with these people.

"Oh, there is someone I want you to meet," Diane said, taking my hand.

In front of the fireplace stood this incredible tall handsome man dressed in black. He wore black leather pants that looked as if they were painted on his body, and the outline of his thick cock could be easily seen pressing against the tight material. His dark hair came down to his shoulders, and the silk shirt was open half way down the front to expose his muscular chest. When he looked down at me with those green eyes a shiver went through my body. Something about this man reminded me of the dark side of life, and the feel of his eyes on my body stirred a fear of uncertainty, and intimidation.

"This is Master Phoenix, he is a close friend of mine and Ed's," Diane said. Diane bowed her head. "Master this Beverly, a coworker of mine."

"Nice to meet you little one," Phoenix said.

"It's a pleasure," I replied. Not really knowing what to say.

"I need to go get some things from the kitchen for our guest. Get to know Master Phoenix," Diane said, lowering her head, and backing away from Master Phoenix.

It worried me the way Diane acted, and her reference to this man as Master, and the way she backed away from him. This was not the Diane I knew, and worked with everyday for the past several months. And what worried me even more was Diane leaving me alone with this man. Just being near this man made me nervous, and I had no idea what he was capable of doing. But yet at the same time I felt the excitement of flirting with the unknown. In his presence I could feel his need for power and control of the things around him. I had never sensed this of a man, and this made it a little frightening.

"How long have you known Diane," Phoenix asked.

I looked around to see if I could see Diane, but she was nowhere to be found. "Oh..ah…ah, I guess about a year now," I answered without looking up into his eyes. The intimidation of being close to this man made me feel uncomfortable, and I had to get away from him. "Look, I need to go to the restroom." I know I sounded rude, and inconsiderate, but the fear of being close to him had me rattled, and I said what first came to mind.

While in the bathroom I had decided to leave, and I wanted to say good-by to Diane before I left. I went to the kitchen, but she was no place to be seen. When I came out I bumped into Jeff, one of the guys I knew from work.

"Jeff, where's Diane," I asked.

"I think her, Ed and Phoenix went to the Dungeon," he said.

"The dungeon?" I asked.

"Yeah…the basement." Jeff pointed to a door just inside the kitchen doorway.

I opened the door, and started down the semi dark stairway. I could hear what sounded like whimpers, and someone in pain. My first thought was someone had fallen down the stairs, but when I reached the bottom, I stood in the doorway looking into the basement. My eyes flashed wide to see Diane's nude body shackled to the wall at the far end of the basement. Her hands were high above her head, and her toes barely touched the floor. She looked totally defenseless, and her face was marred with pain. Phoenix stood behind her with a crop in his hand, and his body bare to the waist, showing his muscular features.

The sight before me had sent me into shock, and it took a moment for me to notice Ed standing to one side with his hand massaging his hard cock. My first impulse was run to help her, but I noticed even though her face was marred with pain, she had the look of lust in her eyes. I had heard of such things, but I had never believed people I knew where involved in such activities.

"You like that don't you slut," Phoenix said, taking his hand to gently caress across the red welts on her pale white ass.

"Yes Master Phoenix, " Diane whimpered.

Phoenix must have sensed my presence, and he turned to look at me. The horror of being caught sent fear through me. "Please, I, I don't want to interrupt. This is none of my business."

"Get her," ordered Phoenix.

Before I could react, Ed came toward me and grabbed my wrist. "Please don't, please don't do this," I pleaded. I struggled to escape his grip, but I was no match against his strength.

"Shut the fuck up slut, Master Phoenix will take care of you," shouted Ed.

Phoenix un-shackled Diane, and her nude body collapsed to the floor. Still caught up in her lust, her hands went to her breast, and massaged the mounds. Diane made no attempt to protest, or help me in anyway. She just lay back, and slipped her hand down the front of her body. She spread her legs wide, and one finger slipped into her pussy, and started to masturbate.

"Please don't hurt me, I beg of you," I cried out. The tears in my eyes blurred my vision, and my heart pounded with fear. This was the nightmare from hell, and I couldn't wake up.

Ed forced my back to the wall, and lifted my hands above my head as Phoenix locked the shackles around my wrist. The more I struggled, the tighter the shackles became around my wrist. My mind tried to push back the panic, but I had gone past rational thought. The fear had taken control of my body, and survival became my basic need. No matter what happen, I had to find the strength to survive this nightmare.

Phoenix pulled a dagger from his belt, and put it to my face. The stainless steel blade sparkled from the lights in the basement. My eyes got bigger, and the fear of what he planned to do with such a deadly weapon filled my every thought.

"Slut, I didn't give you permission to come down to the dungeon," Phoenix whispered. He spoke the words with his face only inches from mine.

My whole body jerked with fear, and my heart felt like it would explode in my chest. "Please don't hurt me, I will do anything you ask," I pleaded in a cracking voice.

"Slut, I don't ask…I demand," he groaned.

Phoenix took the blade of the dagger, and placed it at the top of the dress right beneath my throat. In one long motion he cut the dress from my body, and then cut the material from each arm to let it fall to my feet. Then he cut the thin strap between my breast, and the shoulder straps of the bra and pulled it from my body.

"I like a slut with big nipples," he said, looking down at the mounds of my breast. He then slid the tip of the knife's blade over my nipple, and down to my stomach and cut my panties away. I knew the sparse red pubic hair did little to cover the fold of my womanhood, and I could feel their eyes on my crotch. I closed my eyes, and the feeling of humiliation mixed with fear filled every fiber of my body.

The room had gotten quiet, and I opened my eyes to see Phoenix approaching me again, and he lifted a pair of clamps up so I can see them. The clips had sharp looking teeth, all of sudden it hit me what he planned to do. "Please don't, please," I pleaded. The thought of those on my nipples increased my fear, and I struggled against the shackles.

"You will get use to pain slut," Phoenix said.

I was no longer aware of Ed and Diane's presence in the room; the clamps had my full attention. He put the first one on, and the screeching sharp pain raced from my nipple to my brain. My body arched, and twisted as I screamed out in protest. He used one hand to press my back to the wall, and then he put the second clamp in place. I though I would pass out from the intense raw pain. It took a few seconds before my nipples became numb, and the pain become manageable. The pain made my stomach feel uneasy, and I struggled to take a breath so I could control my emotions.

My eyes half closed, Master Phoenix pushed the flat tip of his crop between my legs, and slid the edge along the fold of my womanhood. The rough leather edge rubbed over my clit, and my body jerked from a sudden wave of pleasure that took me by surprise. The edge then rubbed along my pussy lips that felt more like pleasurable discomfort than pain. Tears filled my eyes, and trickled down my cheeks. No matter how hard I tired, I couldn't keep my body starting to respond to his touch. My pussy became wetter with each deep breath I took, and the thought of my body becoming more aroused horrorified me.

Phoenix used his hands to turn my body so my breast pressed against the basement wall. The coolness of the wall felt good on my tender nipples. Phoenix then spread the cheeks of my ass, and then there was the pressure on my asshole.

"No…gawd please, I've never let a man touch me there, Oh," I cried out. I tightly shut my eyes as the pressure on my asshole become more intense. A burning pain inflamed the opening as it gave way to the butt plug. I pressed my body against the wall in an effort to deal with the thickness of the hard rubber object in my ass.

"Bitch it excites me that you have a virgin ass," Phoenix said.

The first contact of the leather crop on my ass took me by surprise. My body twisted from the blistering pain. I tightly closed my eyes, and tired to push the agony from thoughts. There were moments I felt I would slip into unconsciousness because of the magnitude of pain racing through my body. I just wanted him to stop, but at the same time I wanted to show him I could endure his acts of pleasure. Each hit of the crop on my ass jarred my body, and my legs felt weak. I could no longer support myself, and the weight of my body hung from the shackles around my wrist. I could no longer feel the clamps on my nipples or the butt plug up my ass.

"Lets get the bitch down," Phoenix ordered.

I was barely aware of being released from the shackles, and placed on the floor on my hands and knees. The numbing feeling of my ass, and the warmth I felt inside increased the juices in my pussy. The passion, and the hunger mounted inside me, and the desire to have more of his attention increase. I wanted to be his instrument of pleasure, not matter what it would be. I needed him; he made me feel more alive than I had ever felt with another man.

Phoenix used his hand to lift my head by placing two fingers under my chin. "A woman's mouth is just another hole for a man to relieve himself,"

Before I could utter a word, the head of his massive cock pressed against my lips. He grabbed two-hand full of my red hair, and pulled my mouth harder against the head of his dick. The fragrance of his cock excited me, and the fire deep inside my body become hotter with each breath. No longer able resist, I opened my mouth, and. his cock slipped into my hot wet mouth and slam against the back of my throat. I gagged, but the massive size of his cock prevented me from doing anything else. He used his hips and his hands to move his cock in and out of my mouth. I first tried to resist, but had no choice but give over control to him. His thrust became more violent, and each thrust slammed the head of his cock back against my throat. My lips felt bruised, and each time he thrust his cock into my mouth his balls hit my chin, and his pubic area put pressure against my nose, causing more pain

"Yeah bitch, I'm going to fuck that hole of a mouth, coat you mouth with my hot white cum" Phoenix groaned.

Ed came up behind me, and pushed his hard cock against the opening of my pussy, and with one movement of his hips, he slipped his cock deep inside me. Each of his thrust was as violent as Phoenix fucking my mouth. The fire inside me became hotter and hotter with each thrust of their cocks. I no longer cared; I wanted to be consumed by these two men. I wanted them to use my body to exhaust their pleasures. Never in my life had I felt so alive, and felt so much like a woman.

The only sounds in the room came from the moaning, and skin slapping skin. My body twisted, and moved against the thrusting cocks. I had never felt so much desire, and hunger to be one with a man. Every hole in my body was now filled with pleasure mixed with pain. Even the butt plug pressing on the thin skin between it and Ed's cock created a new sensation. I didn't want the intense pleasure that wrenched my body to end.

Both men slammed their cocks deep inside me, and the feeling of their shafts jerking as they spewed hot cum into my body sent me over the edge. A large rolling wave that started at the center of my being rushed through my body. Master Phoenix's deflating cock muffled the scream of pleasure that sent me over the edge into the dark abiss. It was like someone had turned out the lights, and the world no longer existed.

When I woke, for a brief moment I felt disoriented, and my body ached when I tired to move. "What the hell happened," I mumbled.

'You had me worried sweetie," said Diane who set next to me with her arm around my shoulders.

"I've got a hell of a head ache," I said, using my hands over my face. The touch reminding me how sore my lips were from the intense abuse. I had noticed Diane had put on a robe to cover her nakedness, and my tattered clothes lay in a pile over next to the wall. "You have something I can wear?"

"Sure baby, lets go upstairs," Diane said.

It took everything I could muster to make it up the stairs. Every joint and muscle in my body ached, and I felt totally drained of energy. I had to rely on Diane's strength to make it to the top, and into her bedroom. The people had already left, and I didn't see Master Phoenix or Ed around.

"Where is everyone at," I asked as I set on the bed.

"They've all gone, and Ed is driving Master Phoenix to the airport," she answered.

A moment of disappointment rushed through me. "Where is he going?"

"Oh he lives out of town, but he will be back Friday," Diane said as she picked a skirt and blouse from her closet.

Diane helped me into the skirt, and blouse, and she combed my red hair. She put some medicine on my swollen lips. "You got something I can drink…my throat is dry, and my mouth taste terrible."

"Sure honey, let me go get you something," Diane answered. She left the room, and the surroundings became quiet.

Deep down I could not believe what I had done, and what they had done to me. Embarrassment filled my thoughts from the enjoyment I got from the brutal act. I didn't know if I should be mad at them or thank them. This would be something I would have to think through.

After drinking a glass of water I headed home. I struggled to keep the thoughts of the night from my mind. I refused to think about it right now, I was just too tired. When I got home I took a bath, and just as the sun was coming up I climbed naked into bed, and fell asleep.

When I woke, my eyes strained to penetrate the darkness. I realized I had slept through the day, and when I tried to get up my sore my body sent my thoughts back to the night before. If not for the pain, it would have felt more like a dream than reality. I rose up from the bed, and went to the kitchen and made a cup of coffee. I didn't realize how raw my throat felt until I took a sip of the hot liquid. I slipped on a robe, and went to the balcony with my cup of coffee. Out on the bay, boats and ships with their lights breaking the darkness of the night slowly made their way out to sea. The warm wind caressed my face, and in darkness gave me peace of mind.

I knew I would have to think about what happen, and work out in my own mind how I would deal with it. The whole event was out of character for me, but at the same time I could not deny how turned on I got, and how hard my climax rocked my body. The idea of serving a Master, and being the object of his pleasure excited me. No matter how hard I tried, I could not make myself angry for what had happened.

The name slut had always made me cringe when I heard it, and the name had the stigma of a woman that would fuck anything. What I had done the night before, did that make me a slut? I had realized things about myself I never knew, and it scared me. I discovered that pain with sex increases my passion, and I love being fucked by two men, and I learned my passion could be just as violate as theirs. The first time in my life I felt satisfied, and felt I reached my potential as a woman. I wanted to experience all life has to offer, and experience the unusual. I want to feel the humiliation, and the embarrassment and I want my partner to know I will go to any lengths to make him happy. If this meant I was a slut, then so be it.

When I got to work Monday morning I found Diane in the break room drinking her first cup of coffee. When she set at the table, the skirt she wore rose up to mid thighs. My mind flashed back to the night at her house and the sight of her lying naked on the floor, and her fingers in her pussy. I shook the thought from my mind.

"You ok, I tired to call you Saturday and Sunday," Diane said.

"I wasn't answering the phone," I answered.

"You want to talk about it," Diane asked.

"No, I have to work this out myself," I said.

"Master Phoenix is going to be back in town Friday," said Diane, taking a sip of her coffee as she cut her eyes toward me.

"What does that have to do with me," I said.

"Thought you might be interested."

"Well I'm not, lets not talk about it ok, lets get to work."

Nothing more was said the rest of the week. We went about our jobs like we always had, and the event had never happened. Friday after quitting time I went home, and nuked a TV dinner in the microwave, and had just set down to eat when the phone ringed. I first thought against answering it, but something deep inside wanted to know who was calling. "Hello!"

"This is Master Phoenix, I demand you come to Diane's house," the familiar voice said.

My first thoughts were to tell him to kiss my ass, but excitement stirred deep inside me to taste the forbidden fruit again. I found myself wanting to please him, and wanting to be his instrument of pleasure, but still I hesitated to let go and embrace that life style. The old teachings from my childhood of women's conduct started to slowly fade from my memory, and the desire to accept my new station in life as a slut becoming stronger.

"Ok, I'll be there," I found myself saying. I no longer felt the desire to question my motives, and the intense desire to turn control over to Master Phoenix had taken charge.

"Good, and don't wear no panties or bra, I want you completely naked under your clothes, " Phoenix order.

I went to the bedroom, and slipped my panties from beneath my dress and threw them on the bed. The feel of no panties under my clothing excited me, and the coolness between my legs added to the excitement. I slipped on a pair of heels, and looked in the mirror at my legs, before running down to my car.

The night traffic on the freeway was light, and the drive only took me twenty minutes. I sat in the car for a brief moment, trying to prepare myself for what I knew would soon come. The unknown, and the uncertainty frightened me, but at the same time it made we wet between the legs. I knew what ever Master Phoenix's had planned I would have to endure.

I ringed the doorbell, and Diane opened the door. She stood in front of me naked, and with her blonde hair in a bun on the back of her head. Around her neck she wore a black collar with a studded diamond broach of the letter P on the side.

"Master Phoenix is waiting, and he said to remove you clothes," Diane said looking into my eyes.

I removed my blouse without speaking, and soon I stood naked before Diane. She took me by the hand, and she led me down the stairs to the basement.

Master Phoenix wore no shirt, exposing the muscular upper portion of his body, and the lower portion clad in his skintight black leather pants with knee high boots. His long wavy hair came down to his shoulders, and his tall stature reminded me of a Greek God who was served by people, and worshiped as a God. Just to gaze upon his beauty sent waves of wet heat through my body.

"About fucking time you sluts got here," he roared.

His anger sent a wave of concern through me. I had the intense desire to do whatever it took to make him happy. Diane dropped her knees, pulling me along with her. We both bowed our heads to show our respect at his flash of anger.

Phoenix stood with the black leather-riding crop in his hand. Each time he slapped it to his leg, the sound of leather against leather echoed throughout the basement. Diane took me by the hand, and led me to the Master. We both got down on all fours in front of the Master with our asses in his direction. Diane kept a hold on my hand, and I knew the Master was about to show his displeasure.

I first felt the wind from the crop before the leather made contact with the bare cheek of my ass. My body twisted in agony as my mind rushed to deal with the pain. The second kiss of the crop hit Diane across the ass, and I looked over at her to see her eyes tightly shut, and biting her lower lip. Her face became red from the struggle to deal with the pain that wrenched her body.

Phoenix alternated each hit with the crop, giving the other the time to deal with the pain. Each swing of the crop brought more intense pain until it felt like hot steel pins were being pushed into the cheeks of my ass. My body was forced forward from the contact of the crop, and the urge to scream out become harder to control. My vision was blurred from the tears, and my body started to shake out of control. My ass now felt like it had been set on fire, and was burning out of control. Even through all the pain and agony, I could feel the juices in my pussy starting to flow.

Master Phoenix took Diane by the hair of the head, and pulled her around until she set in front of me with her legs slightly open. I had no idea what he wanted to do next, but I was relieved he was no longer hitting me with that crop. I had no idea how much more I could have taken without passing out.

"Now eat the bitch's pussy," he demanded.

It took a moment for the Master's words to sink in, and the horror of what he demanded set off red lights and bells inside me. Where I came from the act of women having sex with each other had always been considered taboo. It was one of those things I pushed from my mind, and would never consider. How humiliating, and embarrassing to even consider doing it, let alone people watching her doing it.

"Please Master, don't make me do this, I beg you," I pleaded.

"Slut, I didn't ask, and I didn't say it was open for a fucking discussion," Phoenix shouted. Phoenix grabbed a hand full of my red hair, and forced my face only inches from Diane's pussy. "I said eat her pussy, or I will beat your ass until you do!"

The fragrance of her pussy filled the air around me, and something about the smell stirred my own juices. I could see the moistness on her pussy lips that protruded between the folds of her pussy. I had tasted my juices by licking my fingers after masturbating, but what did another woman taste like? Did she taste like me, and how would it feel to have my tongue deep inside her pussy? These questions excited me, and maybe the time had come to try the taboo.

"I said eat her pussy slut," Phoenix demanded, pushing my face into Diane's crotch.

Diane's juices coated my lips, and the fragrance of her womanhood had become stronger. I knew I had no choice but do what Master Phoenix asked, so I surrendered to the idea, and sucked Diane's hardening clit between my lips, and into my hot wet mouth.

"Oh Fuck," said Diane as she lifted her ass up off the floor to push her pussy harder against my mouth.

"Slut, don't you cum until I tell you too," Phoenix ordered.

I looked up Diane's body, and seen her hands massaging her breast as I slipped my tongue deep into her pussy, and tasted the juices of her essence for the first time. The taste, the fact of my mouth was on another woman's pussy sent a wave of excitement through my body, and my pussy became flooded with my own juices. I hungrily worked my tongue in to her pussy, and then slip up to the clit to suck it into my mouth, and at the same time I pushed a finger into her asshole. I could feel my finger against my tongue through the thin piece of skin that separated her asshole and her pussy. I sucked harder, and thrust my tongue deeper, and her juices started to trickle down my face.

I felt my pussy being pushed apart by an object, and sinking deeper into my body. Its massive size stretched my pussy lips to their capacity, and the pressure mixed with pain sent another wave of pleasure through my body. I found myself pushing back on the instrument so I could get as much of its length into my body. I slowly drifted off to that place where I had become one with lust, and reality no longer existed. My body moved out of control, and moved for its own satisfaction. I had just reached the edge, and Phoenix pulled the instrument from my pussy, and my face from between Diane's legs, and found myself next to her kneeling before the Master. Master Phoenix took turns thrusting his massive cocks into our mouths.

My hands slipped between my thighs, and started to rub my clit. I sucked harder on his cock. I wanted his cum; I wanted to taste the essence of his soul. The fire inside me consumed my body, and my pussy felt drenched in my own juices.

Master Phoenix's cock jerked, and his cum hit Diane in the face, and put a white coat across her lips. Diane reached for me, pulling me closer, and pressed her cum soaked lips to mine in a passionate kiss to share the delicious taste of our Master. When her tongue touched mine, and taste of heaven reached my taste buds, a huge wave rushed through my body sending me over the edge. I pushed my finger deep into my pussy. My body jerked, and twisted from the intense climax. My mind went reeling off into darkness were there were no lights or sounds; just the feeling of pure pleasure

It took a moment to gather my thoughts, and to figure out were I was, and who stood before me. I rose to my knees, and with my head bowed, Master Phoenix came toward me with a collar in his hand, and he placed it around my neck. The collar matched the one that Diane wore.

"You know belong to me, and you will serve me, and you will please me," he spoke. Master Phoenix knelt in front of me. He first kissed me gently on the lips, and then kissed Diane on the lips.

"Thank you Master, I hope I make you proud," I whispered.

I now belong to Master Phoenix, and I love him with all my heart, and I will pledge my body and soul to serve him as my Master. The collar will be our symbol as Master and Slave, and Diane will be my sister, and together we will serve him with dedication and love. The first time in my life I feel complete, and feel like the woman I've always desired. I now enjoy the happiness I have hungered for in a relationship, and I will forever embrace the slut that dwells inside me, and I will never push her back into the darkness of denial. .

THE END