Journal of a Pain Slut - Part 1
by fempainpig (fempainpig@yahoo.com)
June 5
I have known since I was a preteen that pain and sex were the same to me. I
guess it is because I was raped when I was 11. A rape that I now admit that I
not only enjoyed but is a memory I masturbate to often.
Yesterday afternoon I met again with the man I met online last May. The night we
met He gave me several hundred strokes with a bamboo cane. I had large welts and
bruises all over my body and some broken skin on the inside of my thighs and my
ass. He also took great pleasure in fisting my cunt. I knew from talking to Him
online He was going to be very sadistic but this is what I wanted...what I have
needed.
When I met him yesterday, He put a collar on my neck then attached my wrists to
the collar and attached the collar to the headboard. He has hooks above the
headboard in the wall that He runs ropes thru that are attached to my ankles. He
pulls them up and back so my cunt and ass are exposed and lifted a little off
the bed and my feet are by my shoulders.
I have come to really like being tied up this way. I can't move and feel so
exposed and open. I am totally powerless to prevent or stop anything that may
happen to me.
This morning my body doesn't just hurt, I am in pain, I can hardly move. My
cunt is black and blue not to mention still very red from being whipped with a
cat o 9 tails. He gets off from whipping me till I am screaming then doubling
his effort and whipping me till I pass out. I think I love Him.
He likes to fuck me while I am not fully awake, He says He likes fucking me when
I am unconscious, especially my mouth. I have seen the videotape of Him fucking
my throat and I gag horribly but do not wake up. I think He may be drugging me
but I don't care. I love being hurt and I wear my marks with a smile on my face.
June 6
I am slightly upset, He burned me again. I confess it gave me an intense orgasm
that lasted for at least 10 minutes but I cannot close my legs. First He heated
up a lighter with the flame, holding the flame just an inch from my cunt, the
heat made me whimper but when He pressed the metal into the space between my
cunt and my thigh I came. I bucked and screamed and wet myself it was so
intense. He did it twice, once on each side.
He also used my cunt as an ashtray. He laid me on the table, put a spreader bar
on my ankles and attached my wrists to the ends of the bar. He used clamps to
pull my cunt open and exposed. As he sat in a chair next to the table and lazily
stroked his cock, He rolled the hot tip of His cigar over my clit. He would wait
until I stopped screaming then do it again. He smoked the entire 6 inch cigar
that way. Puff, puff, burn clit...wait.
Yes, I came like a banshee and when I look down at my pussy I am even slightly
proud of being able to wear the mark because He made it. He told me that soon He
would brand me this is just to get me prepared for the healing process.
June 10
This morning before I left His house I was given a cayenne pepper enema and hot
sauce douche. It burned so much. Before He gave it to me He used a baby
bottlebrush inside my ass and cunt. That hurt in itself, enough to make me pass
out from the white burning torture so deep in my bowels. The water flow was
slow into my ass and the burning didn't start right away but the moment He
squirted the hot sauce into my cunt I was screaming, thrashing around and
begging Him to rinse it out. He didn't. Instead He put on two condoms and fucked
me. His cock thrusting into my ruined cunt then stabbing into my damaged asshole
really made me realize how much I need this. The pain was the kind that is like
a white hot flash that shakes my whole body. He says I was orgasming from the
moment He squirted the hot sauce into my cunt and was still cumming for at least
5 minutes after I passed out. I woke up to Him cleaning me up. He can be so
gentle when He wants to be.
June 15
He hasn't called me in days. I have been sitting here looking at myself in the
mirror. Most of the welts have gone way down and my cunt isn't as inflamed as it
was yesterday. I am afraid to touch my clit but I really really want to. If He
calls me later I will ask permission to masturbate but for now I am happy with
the clamps biting into my nipples.
June 17
He came over here at 1:30 in the morning. He woke me up by standing next to my
bed and pissing in my face. As soon as I realized it was Him and what was
happening I opened my mouth and drank the last wonderful drops. He drug me out
of bed by my hair out to his car. I knew better then to protest or to ask for
clothes. I stood naked in the middle of the street as He opened his car trunk. I
know at least one of my neighbors saw as they drove by but He just pulled me
into his arms and started kissing me.
I hardly noticed as He slipped my arms behind my back and cuffed my wrists
together. He grabbed the hair at the base of my scalp and pulled my head back,
looked into my eyes and told me to get in the trunk. I tried to be graceful but
it was impossible with my arms tied behind my back. He laughed at me but didn't
help. Once I was in and laying down He put a ball gag between my teeth and gave
my nipples a couple vicious turns.
I fell asleep while He was driving. I had no idea where He was going but I knew
I was in for a night of hard fucking. I woke up when the light of the trunk came
on. He pulled me out of the car by my hair and dropped me on the ground. My
shoulders ached from being bound. I have no idea how long I had been in the
trunk.
I pulled myself to my knees as He stood over me. I looked around a little and I
think we were on the Indian reservation. It was cold and I was stripped. My
shoulders burned and my jaw ached as He lifted me to my feet by my hair. He
guided me into a small warehouse and locked the door behind Him. He released my
wrists and I tried to rub some of the circulation back into them.
My eyes didn't adjust as swiftly as I wish they had. Next think I knew I was
being pushed down onto my hands and knees. He snapped a thick collar around my
neck and hooked a leash to it. He tugged on the leash and I followed him on my
hands and knees the ball gag still in my mouth.
I trailed after Him as fast as I could. He opened a door that led into the main
part of the warehouse. I quickly noticed all the men standing around and what
looked like a bunch of cameras. I looked up at Him and tried not to show Him I
was scared. I was only a little scared; I was really more excited then anything.
I could feel my juices running down the insides of my thighs.
As soon as they saw us a couple of the guys let out a whoop. I jumped and they
laughed. He tugged on my leash and I followed him to the center where the guys
where standing. I noticed there were beer cans scattered around and I could
smell weed. I tried not to look nervous but one of the guys walked up to me and
slapped me across the face.
I stood there with my eyes to the ground and my hands to my sides as the guys
all removed their clothes then sat down in chairs in a circle around me. There
were 8 guys including Him. I watched as they stroked their cocks. I especially
watched the big black guy. He had to have been at least 10 inches long and
almost as thick as a soda can. I know I should have been kneeling up with my
hands clasped behind my head and my eyes down but I couldn't help it.
The black guy caught me looking at him. He stood up and held his huge cock to my
lips. He placed his hands on the sides of my head and I opened my mouth. He
didn't slide his cock in; He thrust it all the way down the back of my mouth
gagging me. This made the other guys laugh and it encouraged the black guy to
fuck my face with long hard strokes, each one making me gag.
I tried to put my hands on his hips to see if I could at least find his rhythm
so I wouldn't gag so badly, but my hands were grabbed and cuffed to the collar.
The black guy did slow his pace and depth a little but that was because another
one of the guys was kneeling behind me. He grabbed my nipples between his vice
like fingers and twisted and pulled them till they were so distracting that I
forgot all about gagging on the cock that was being forced down my throat. The
black guy pulled out of my mouth and shot his load all over my face. I tried to
grab as much of it as I could on my tongue but it was difficult with my nipples
being yanked this way and that.
As soon as the black guy stepped back I was pushed forward with my cum covered
face into the hard cement floor. My legs were pulled apart and a cock was shoved
unceremoniously into my dripping cunt. His hands went from my tits to my hips.
He pulled me back onto his cock impaling me on it with each stroke. I felt a
foot come down and rest on the side of my face to hold me in place as I was
pulled back onto the cock that was in my soaking wet cunt. He came in me within
only a few strokes and was quickly replaced.
The new cock in my pussy was thicker but not as elongated. His thrusts were
slower and I savored the feel of being stretched out. The men were pretty muted.
I could hear the sound of them stroking their cocks but other then that the only
other sounds were the guy that was fucking me grunting as He slammed into me, me
moaning and the wet sound of my pussy being fucked.
Each one of them took turns fucking my mouth, cunt and ass. My throat was raw
and my cunt and ass poured out cum.
They let me sleep a little, I don't know if it was 5 minutes or an hour. My body
was sore. The feel of their hot piss splattering over my body awakened me. I was
drenched in urine before I woke up. One of the guys was holding my legs open and
pissing into my pussy. As soon as they realized I was conscious, someone grabbed
me by my hair and pulled me across the room. My hands were cuffed and attached
to a pulley. I was pulled off my feet. My legs were yanked apart and a spreader
bar was fastened to my ankles. The muscles in my shoulders burned.
A blindfold was put over my eyes and headphones playing music were put over my
ears. The music was hard driving heavy metal and it was loud. I felt hands on my
breasts. I don't have big tits just a little bigger then a C cup. Just enough
tits to be tortured I have been told. A clamp came down on my nipple. I screamed
without thinking and felt a hard slap across my face. I bit my lower lip and
tried to focus on what was going on around me.
I am familiar with the feel of plastic clothespins and I have a feeling that
that is what they were using. Must have been 15 of them on each one of my tits.
I keep losing focus because of the music and the strain on my wrists and
shoulders. I was lowered to my feet, the headphones were moved slightly off my
ears and someone told me to shake my tits. I did for several seconds but a sharp
burning pain in the dead center of my back (I think it was a bullwhip) made me
scream and told me not to stop. I kept shaking my tits back and forth. As I
jiggled the clamps all over my tits someone slapped them off. I bit my lip so
hard I tasted blood but I didn't let out more then a whimper while they paid
attention to my tits.
When all the clamps were off someone grabbed my tits and squeezed them in his
vice like hands. He held one tightly clamped in his hand and smacked my nipple.
Over and over his hand came down on my abused nipple as the grip of hand
tightened around my tit. I could feel my slut juices running down the insides of
my thighs. When He changed tits I felt a hand slide between my legs. The hand
between my legs quickly found my clit and pinched and squeezed it. I threw my
head back, spread my legs farther apart and bit down on my lips tasting the
metallic taste of blood fill my mouth as a powerful orgasm ripped through me.
As I came down from my orgasm, I could hear them laughing and talking a little
over the music that was pounding in my ears but I couldn't concentrate enough to
pick up anything they were saying. The fingernails biting into my clit held all
my attention. I was truly thankful for being suspended; I would have buckled to
the ground more then a few times. My clit was released and my knees did buckle.
The weight of my body came down on my wrists and shoulders suddenly. I cried out
and heard them laughing. Someone took the time to wipe the sweat from my face
and gently kissed my lips. Then someone helped me to my feet and the rope that
held me to the pulley was given a little slack. I was bent forward over a table
or something. My wrists were tied to it. I couldn't stand up but at least I
could rest my body on the table.
Someone wiped my body down with a cool cloth. They paid special attention to my
cunt making sure I wasn't so wet. I know I must have smiled at the gentle
attention someone was paying me. I felt a cool gentle mist of water being
sprayed all over me, or I thought it was water at first then the smell of it hit
my nose, it was rubbing alcohol. As the last droplet hit my skin a cane came
down across my ass cheeks. My body jerked up and I cried out at the sudden pain.
The headphone were ripped off my head and I heard someone say, "Go ahead, let
her scream, I like it." A chorus of voices chimed in that they wanted me to
scream too.
I heard His voice off to my right say, "Go on make her scream. She wants this.
Don't ya cunt?" He asked. I squeezed my eyes shut under the blindfold and slowly
nodded as I raised my ass up by standing on my tiptoes.
I felt the air move a millisecond before the thin rod sliced into my tender
skin. I cried out more from the suddenness of it then the pain. I grabbed the
edge of the table as the cane cut into my backside. Tears streamed down my face,
with each lash my body jerked and I cried out louder and louder until I was
hoarse. My ass, thighs and back were on fire. I came at least 15 times during
the 30-minute whipping; each time my knees buckling under me. Someone pulled me
back into place by my hair each time and the beating continued.
I must have passed out. I know it was from exhaustion not from the pain. I loved
the sound of the cane slicing through the air and the sharp burning sting of it
cutting into my skin. Writing about it now makes me crave another such
thrashing. I think my body just couldn't handle it anymore, no matter how much I
wanted it.
I woke up in His bed on my back, my hands tied to the headboard. He must have
been watching me sleep because He was at my side as soon as I was awake. He
kissed me so gently and told me I made Him proud. He climbed into the bed with
me, pulled my legs up and apart and slide his thick cock into my dry ass. I was
so sore from the night before that I couldn't help but crying out as He pushed
into me. He fucked my ass slowly and talked to me telling me how happy I made
him and how much He loved watching me get fucked. He also said that I was now
his slave and that He is going to take care of me as long as I am a good girl. I
am going to do my best to be good. I know I love Him.
June 25
I have been sleeping a lot. My body must be recovering from that gangbang the
other night. I am almost all packed. Well my things are packed. I do not get to
take any of it with me, its all going to charity. Master is moving me into his
home.
June 30
This is the only thing I am allowed. My dairy and a pen. Master is allowing me
this one privilege. I am naked, there is a very large butt plug in my ass and a
ball gag in my mouth. The seat of the chair I am sitting in has a cushion of
thumbtacks and my feet are up on a footstool so my entire weight is on my ass.
I spend most of my time locked in a cage in the bedroom closet. I don't mind, it
gives me time to think of ways to pleasure Him.
Over the last couple of days since I have moved in with Him, Master has welded a
steel collar around my neck and branded my mons. Later this afternoon, my labia
are going to be tattooed and my clit hood removed.
May 4
My cunt hurts. It's a dull throb now but its constant. I can feel my heartbeat
in my clit. Master has allowed me ice packs to help with the swelling. My cunt
lips now say: slave and dog. My clit hood is gone and my clit is a throbbing red
knob. Once my clit is healed Master is going to start enlarging it. Until then
Master will be using my anus. He coats the butt plug in Ben Gay. It's not so
much painful anymore now that I am getting used to it, but it's irritating. By
the time he gets home from work, I am begging him to fuck my ass. He hasn't of
course, I don't deserve his cock but he has been fisting my ass. I can easily
take his fist and really enjoy him punch fucking me.
May 15
I am fat. I weigh 185 pounds and stand 5 ft tall. Master has put me on a liquid
diet. I am allowed to have water but my main diet consists of piss and cum.
Twice a day I get a multi-vitamin that I wash down with my own urine. While
Master is away, He collects His piss in a thermos that I drink the minute He
gets home.
My tummy is growling. I'm hungry but Master has a padlock on the fridge and He
has inventoried all the cupboards. Actually, I wouldn't even think about eating.
He weighs me every night and for every pound I weigh I get a lash of the crop on
my hoodless clit.
May 17
I am so fat and gross Master has me exercise for an hour each morning and night.
When I am done He allows me to suck His cock and drink His cum. Starting
tonight, I have to get enemas too.
May 18
Since I am fat as a pig He shaved my Head. I am totally bald now. Not a single
hair on my body. Master also has taken away my privilege to talk. Until He
allows it I am only allowed to oink, moo and scream.
He hasn't fucked me in over a week. He still lets me suck His cock and He beats
me every day but until I lose 30 pounds Master says I don't deserve His cock in
my hole.
May 20
I am weak. The hunger pangs have gone away mostly but I am still hungry. It
takes all my effort to please Master. I have lost 12 pounds so far; only 18 more
to go. All I want to do is sleep.
May 22
Master allowed me 1/2 cup of rice today. It tasted like food of the Gods. I ate
so fast I threw it up the first time, but Master allowed me to lick it up off
the floor.
May 23
Master has allowed me to eat some food. Conditions of course. Anything I eat has
to be in my ass an hour first and anything I shit I have to rub on my body. I've
eaten 2 carrots so far and have a big fat cucumber up my ass.
May 25
12 more pounds to go. My cunt is raw from all the beatings but it's worth it. I
want my Master to be proud of me.
He has a date with someone tonight. I can Hear Him fucking Her. I take that
back, He is making love to Her. I am in my cage in the closet. I have the
biggest ball gag in my mouth that He has. Not that I would make any noise, the
last time Master brought a woman home to fuck, I got so excited hearing them
have sex I had an orgasm. Big mistake. As punishment, He wrapped my Head in
plastic wrap and caned my tits until I passed out. When I came to, I was hanging
upside down by my ankles. When Master came to check on me and found me awake, He
wrapped my head again and beat my entire body with a switch.
May 27
I earned a meal today. Master came home at lunch to release His frustrations. He
had to fire someone. When He gets like this I take whatever He has to give
without even a whimper of complaint. It would only make it worse.
He strung me up by my wrists and used His fists. I even took a couple jabs to my
face but He mostly concentrated on my belly and tits, using me like a punching
bag.
He was so proud of me for taking it and remembering to thank Him after that
Master said I could have anything I want to eat for 30 minutes. Conditions again
of course, I have to eat it out of a bowl and I can't use my hands and I am
going to be punished for talking.
May 29
I've gotten used to the taste of my own shit. Everything I have eaten over the
last week has tasted of shit. A couple times Master has even given me a smoothie
enema. I only had to hold it for 10 minutes but I had to drink it all. It wasn't
as bad as you think.
May 30
I'm now a real toilet. Well almost. Thankfully Master hasn't made me eat shit
yet but I do have to clean His ass with my tongue. I suck His cock while He
shits then lick His ass clean. A couple of times, I have had to put my face in
the bowl while He caned me too. If He has to fart, He makes me kneel behind Him
and press my face to His ass.
I love Him very much and I know this is my place but it's hard sometimes.
June 1
I've only lost 16 pounds. Master is not happy. I now get 2 lashes for every
pound I weigh and I am only allowed to drink piss. Because my cunt has been
whipped so much over the past 2 weeks, Master is now whipping my tits. 169
lashes on each breast. Tonight He used a cat o nine tails.
June 4
My udders are bloody. They are so bruised and distended I bet they are a double
D cup. (If I was allowed a bra anyway) After my nightly whipping Master has me
lie down with my tits hanging in a basin of ice water to help the swelling go
down.
June 5
This morning Master scrubbed my tits with a brillo pad. He said He would rather
see my udders scrubbed raw then to see them covered in scabs.
Oh my god, Master just fucked me! I am so delirious I can't stand it. He even
came in my cunt. He was in a good mood when He got home from the office today.
He started by tying me up and giving me a pleasure whipping. It's been so long
since He beat me solely for His pleasure and not because He was training me.
After He let me cum from the whipping, He fisted my ass and let me cum again. I
hope He has more days likes this.
June 6
Somehow I gained a pound. Master is so disappointed in me. I really deserved the
punishment I got tonight. I got 100 lashes from his belt, 100 lashes from the
wood paddle, 100 strokes of the switch and 100 lashes from the flogger on my
ass, tits, cunt then my back. When He was done, He gave me an enema and made me
throw up using a tablespoon of ipecath.
June 10
I have been locked in the cage for the last 4 days. No light, unable to get
comfortable and not knowing when I was going to be let out. He did leave me 2
gallons of water and a cup though. I made sure I drank every drop that ran
through me.
Master is going away for a few days. He has installed locks on the doors to the
bathroom, his bedroom and all the doors leading outside. He has most of the food
from the house and left me a set of instructions on the fridge.
