Chapter Eighteen -- Contemplation
Eight nude women collected at the back of the gym to join a silent Clarice who
just pointed to stretchy slippers like the ones given out by hospitals. They
were incredibly comfortable after weeks in high heels. Not knowing what else to
do, the women slipped them on and followed Clarice out the back door.
Clarice led them down a gravel pathway for fifteen minutes to a rock cabin by a
flowing stream where the air smelled fresh and clean from wild flowers and the
sound of the water flowing in the little brook soothed them, quieting their
thoughts. Inside the cabin were dozens of cushions and eight camping style
mattresses, eight sleeping bags, eight mugs, eight plates, eight of everything
but no chair, table, desk, or even a toilet. Just four walls with a window in
one sidewall, a fireplace in the opposite wall, and doors in the front and back.
Clarice handed them each a piece of paper containing a schedule:
12:30-13:00 silent contemplation
13:00-14:00 silent exercise
14:00-15:00 silent hot tub
15:00-17:00 free time - read, write, catch up on homework,walk, exercise, or ?
17:00-18:00 silent supper - soup & sandwich
18:00- free time-0?:00 wake up
08:00-09:00 quiet discussion
09:00-10:00 exercise
10:00-12:00 free time ....
Clarice walked away quickly, leaving them with only their toothbrushes and the
contents of the footlocker. After almost five weeks of continuous, frantic
activity, the eight women didn't quite know what to do. They wandered through
the little sixteen by sixteen cabin, finding a locker with eight blank
notebooks, eight pencils, a box of baking soda, a bar of lye soap, some books.
Outside, they found plastic coated dumbbells on the lawn. A huge wooden hot tub
that would easily hold all of them was surrounded by a deck. Some of the women
wandered down by the stream and found that a rock dam created a pool, an old
fashioned swimming hole that looked inviting with the summer heat and humidity,
especially with the pebble beach. Kaitlyn and Maria settled down into sun baked
pebbles, Katy laying back and closing her eyes while Maria stared blankly at the
water. Maria sat up, thinking.
A little later, Kaitlyn found Laura wandering around. "Come on," she told the
older woman. "Let's find Darlene and take a walk for our exercise."
Laura looked around as if she expected Nancy to jump out of the bushes and flail
them with the riding crop. But no one appeared and Laura passively followed the
pregnant teenager to a rock where they found Darlene standing, rocking from one
foot to the other. "Darlene," Katy called out. "Come walk with us for our
aerobics. Then we can do some dumbbell exercises when we get back." Darlene wore
the same astonished expression as Laura but joined them for a long walk along a
path that led upstream through the woods.
Kaitlyn was obviously the leader of the expedition, walking so briskly that the
older and heavier women had to struggle a little bit to keep up. Even Katy was
out of breath and sweating heavily before they turned around. It was easier
going back since it was downhill most of the way. Then Katy stopped on the lawn
and picked up a pair of seven-pound dumbbells. "I think I'll just do the home
circuit," she mumbled, beginning with military presses and moving immediately to
upright rows, curls, and so on, keeping her heart rate up for another half hour
or so.
Following Katy's lead, the other seven women went through a workout on the lawn
where more sweet Dutch clover than grass carpeted the area. Bees buzzed between
the white blossoms as they exercised but the insects were too busy collecting
nectar and pollen to bother the women.
When she felt 'right', Katy put down the dumbbells, skipped down to the pond,
and dove in from a rock along the edge. "Aii, it's cold," she squealed as she
surfaced but she stayed in the deep mini-lake, treading water in the middle or
diving to explore the rocky bottom once she got used to the water. The other
seven women all wandered down to join her, some just dangling their feet in the
water while others swam.
When Katy strode up the pebble beach at the back of the pond farthest from the
dam, she gathered sticks along the edge of the woods before she walked back up
the slope to the hot tub. Most of the other women followed her lead.
"I saw one of these in a magazine," Katy told them, putting her sticks into the
burner at the side of the tub. "Did anybody see matches? Maybe in the locker."
The boiler's firebox was soon full. Katy had found matches and a can of charcoal
lighter in the covered tinderbox beside the boiler. Soon, the fragrant smell of
burning hardwood filled the air as they all settled into the tub, the boiler
sending bubbles and blasts of steam out under the benches in the tub to churn
the water.
"You guys still haven't figured it out, have you?" Katy asked the group once
they were settled in the warm water. She didn't say anything for a long time,
then spoke up again. "We have a schedule, right? But we don't have a clock or
watch, do we? And there's nobody to tell us what to do. This is like 'Walden
Pond' or something until Clarice comes back. We're supposed to think and read
and write and do what we want to do and the thinking is about everything. How we
try to do too much and that just gets us depressed or mad or screwed up in
general. I know I can do a lot now. But I'll never..."
Kaitlyn's voice was usually loud and brash but it was now soft and soothing as
she quietly talked about her feelings. ".. I love Bruce but I still get mad. At
him. At myself. It's going to be really tough when we move into our own place.
And when the baby comes, it'll be worse. I'm scared. But I'm excited, too. And I
need this time to think."
Clarice appeared, looking vital and healthy in her nudity. She slipped into the
tub with the eight women and listened to Kaitlyn continue, "Sometimes I think I
should have waited and I should have, but now that I've, that we.. Bruce and I
made a baby. I won't have an abortion and it's too late now so I have two
choices, one, give the baby up for adoption or two, well, it's obvious." She
faced Clarice and asked, "Do you think we can make it?"
Clarice was stretched out, neck deep in the bubbling water that was only
slightly warmer than before Katy built the fire. She just smiled at the young
woman, raising one eyebrow. Kaitlyn stared at her for a few minutes. "Yeah. I
have to figure it out for myself."
When she first saw Clarice, Jennifer had tensed, knowing that they were going to
be punished, that Kaitlyn was going to end up wearing a gag for violating the
order to be silent. But Clarice said not a single word. The youngest girl in the
group had figured it out, what was going on.
Jennifer's mind emptied. She closed her eyes and stretched out her long frame in
the warm water. Sounds filled her mind, the buzz of insects, the far-off tinkle
of water descending the brook's rocky path, a ruffle of leaves. So peaceful.
Wendy had confessed the first day, telling everyone that she was afraid she was
gay. Jennifer harbored the same fear but couldn't admit it. She had never had a
satisfactory relationship with a man. She was too tall. Too gangly. Her tits
were too small, her butt was too big, and her bones were too long. The only time
she ever enjoyed herself with a man was with that kid, the boy toy that Wendy
ordered that first weekend. But he was so short and skinny. Much too short. But
it was something, the effect he had on her, the feelings.
But the women, geez, what a woman can do to a woman. When they were ordered to
kiss each other, Jennifer intentionally tensed all of her muscles to try to make
her face red so it would look like a blush, like she was embarrassed when, in
truth, she was excited, aroused, looking forward to every kiss and touch. And it
was fun and it felt nice and it turned her on. And fingers. And showering
together. And using sex toys. Everything she did with the other women turned her
on and gave her orgasms. Lots of them. Powerful ones that came easily. 'So I
guess I'm gay,' she decided, opening her eyes to look around.
Her thoughts had aroused her. She looked around, searching for a lover among the
women around her. Wendy thought she was gay but Jennifer knew better. The girl
was just bashful but otherwise perfectly normal. Maria was absolutely homophobic
and still resisted sexual activity with women even though that was a big part
the program of GWU. Maria fought her own body, trying to keep herself from
having orgasms that were pulled from her body. Kaitlyn was a little bomb waiting
to explode, a definite possibility. Katy loved everything and everyone but
Jennifer didn't want to interrupt her contemplation.
At 46, Laura was just beginning to reblossom. Hormone cream and physical fitness
were making her over into a whole new person from the one who showed up six
weeks earlier but she was so conventional and conservative. Laura enjoyed
physical sex with women but only when it was forced on her. Kim was so tiny. At
six feet plus, doing 69 with a five foot pixie just wasn't physically practical.
That left Debbie and Darlene. Both were hot. And both loved sex in all forms.
Jennifer chuckled to herself, imagining steam bubbles coming from her pussy now
that she felt heated up. Hot enough to explode at any minute. If she didn't do
something soon, she knew that she would need to get off with her fingers or
whatever was convenient and.. And right next to her was the sexiest woman she
had ever seen, sexy at fifty-plus. Clarice.
Jennifer had made love to seven of the women in the tub in dozens of different
ways plus some encounters with some of the other students in the school and some
of the staff. Well, one. Tina. Dominating her was one of the.. no, that was
definitely the number one hottest sexual experience of her life with the
possible exception of the boy toy, whatever his name was. But Clarice just oozed
sexuality and vitality and 'damn, I'm getting hot,' Jennifer realized as she
glanced at the woman next to her. 'I wonder what she'd do if I kissed her?'
Her mind went back to lessons, personal courage, willingness to try new things,
intimacy. 'Could I stand it if she rejects me?' Jennifer wondered. 'Of course I
could.' It was Clarice who taught them so much. Jennifer suddenly realized that
she felt a warmth toward the older woman who could be so cruel and loving at the
same time. She felt affection, maybe even love.
Suddenly, it was easy for Jennifer to slowly turn and kiss the post-menopausal
woman gently on the lips. Clarice's hand softly stroked up Jenn's side under the
bubbling water as she responded, opening her mouth to receive Jennifer's
tentatively advancing tongue. Jennifer marveled at how easy and natural it was
to deepen the kiss as they rolled toward each other into an easy embrace, buoyed
by the warm water and stimulated by the steamy bubbles that tickled as they
burst into smaller bubbles and floated along their naked flesh, covering both
women with goose bumps.
"That's going to give a whole new meaning to kissin' ass," Kaitlyn snickered
quietly as she stood up on the bench to get out of the tub, her skin wrinkled by
the long soak. Maria, too, got up and stood. Without inhibition, Kaitlyn used
her hands to squeegee water drops off of Maria's skin. Maria reciprocated with
only a bit of embarrassment, then climbed over the edge and down the ladder. She
and Kaitlyn added more sticks to the burner before they walked to the rock cabin
together.
Jennifer released Clarice from her embrace, knelt in the middle of the tub, and
lifted her lover's bottom to her face, putting one of Clarice's legs over each
of her shoulders. Clarice floated up naturally, her bottom was still half
submerged but her pussy above the surface so Jennifer could explore and arouse
her teacher.
'So this is what's different between having sex and making love,' Jennifer
realized as she continued her oral gratification of her teacher, trying to show
her appreciation with her hands, tongue, and lips. Neither was in any hurry and
their lovemaking lasted for over an hour. Clarice let her student bring her to
two very satisfying orgasms before they again embraced and kissed, necking like
teenagers for a while before leaving the tub to walk hand-in-hand along the
paths, wandering with no particular destination.
"Thank you," Clarice said softly, turning and standing on tiptoes to kiss the
tall young woman.
"No, thank _you_," Jennifer emphasized, returning the kiss. "I think I'm finally
beginning to understand."
"Good," the older woman smiled, kissing her student again but much more
passionately, increasing the pressure on their lips and attacking Jennifer with
her tongue. She ground her groin against Jennifer's leg and turned her body so
her pelvic bone ground into the girl's pussy. They fell to the ground in a
clover patch, the sweet smell adding to their passion. Clarice moved on top,
positioned her cunt over Jennifer's, and started grinding her pelvis as she
suckled one nipple and pinched the other. It was a raw coupling this time, two
women rutting in the dirt, frantic to get relief from the sexual tension that
they had built up.
But it was right, perfect, just as the gentleness in the tub had been perfect in
its time. And it was new to Jennifer. She had licked and fingered and dildo
fucked and used vibrators, but she had never experienced anything quite like
this grinding pussy fuck. Their passions rose until they exploded together in
mutual release, both arched against each other, crying out because of the
intensity of the experience.
Then they just held each other, loving the sweet smells and soft sounds of
nature, calming, basking in the warmth of the setting sun. At least for a few
minutes.. until the flies discovered their sweat and the bees began exploring
the fragrance between their legs and they had to run to the lake, giggling,
trying to beat off the insects.
-=*=-
"It's OK," Maria said to no one in particular.
Kaitlyn was the only other person in the cabin. She understood. "Yeah, it's OK.
Once we leave, we'll never have to make love to another woman but we'll
understand if a cousin is gay and we'll understand our sisters and brothers and
most important, we'll understand ourselves and our reactions."
"Yeah," Maria agreed, smiling, remembering a quote from one of their lessons.
'Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.' She picked a book
from the locker, 'The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty' by Anne Rice writing as A. N.
Rocquelare and went outside with a blanket to read. Kaitlyn got a notebook and
pencil to try to catch up on some of her assignments and to put some of her
thoughts down on paper.
When Darlene went for a walk, she saw Jennifer and Clarice making love in the
clover. She bent at the knees and masturbated furiously while she watched them.
She came long before they did and continued her walk, feeling better. It felt
even better when she upped her pace so she broke into a sweat and was just a
little bit out of breath, pumping her arms, feeling the 'burn' in her legs that
Lucy and Chris and Tina talked about during exercise classes. Damn, it felt good
to be alive.
Wendy and Debbie found each other up the path of the brook, each surprised to
find another human being in the shaded woods. Neither said a word as they walked
toward each other. And then they kissed, sharing a moment of tongue tips
swirling together. Then, without a word being spoken by either of them, they
broke the kiss and continued their walk hand-in-hand.
Laura read 'My Secret Garden' while perched on a rock, watching some of the
others frolic in the swimming hole. The stories of other women's fantasies
aroused her. She liked being aroused.
-=*=-
Some time around five, Peggy, the chief cook for GWU, drove a golf cart up to
the cabin and unloaded a big insulated containerof soup, a bag of styrofoam
bowls, plates, and plastic tableware, and several coolers containing drinks,
veggies for munching, and sandwiches. She left without saying a word to anyone.
Debbie was alone in the cabin when the food was dropped off. She hadn't thought
of food but the sight of the containers made her hungry. She opened the military
surplus container and found it contained a hearty beef and barley soup. She
ladled some into a bowl and sat down to eat, still reading a pornographic novel
from the footlocker as she ate.
The aroma from the soup drifted downhill to the lake and everyone soon joined
Debbie next to the cabin. Some brought out their sleeping bags to sit on, others
just plopped down in the clover. Clarice joined them for the light supper.
"Am I going to be punished for talking?" Kaitlyn asked Clarice.
"Of course," Clarice answered.
"I don't care."
"Good," Clarice told her.
"Any words of wisdom?" Kaitlyn asked her.
"I think you're figuring things out pretty well on your own," Clarice told them.
"But I do have one bit of advice. The mosquitoes get pretty bad out here just
before and after sundown. Stay inside then or you'll be eaten alive."
"Thanks," Kaitlyn smiled, giving Clarice a hug and kiss.
After supper, Clarice left, walking back to the school by herself, leaving the
women deep in silent thought. They formed naturally into pairs, not wanting to
be alone. One pair read, another wrote in their notebooks, another exercised,
another swam. But the pairs kept changing, everyone feeling the need for a
change at about the same time.
The only thing they would agree on after their experience in the retreat house
was that they hated the bathroom facilities... the relative lack thereof which
was just a two-holer outhouse well downstream and downwind from the cabin and
the lake, much too far from the cabin especially when it was dark. "You were
lucky it wasn't snowing," Clarice would later tell them. They all wondered if
nudity was enforced for winter classes.
A thunderstorm blew past just after sunset, cooling the inside of the cabin that
had been stifling in the July sun, muggy beyond belief. Everyone but Darlene was
spoiled by air conditioning at home and work. And by electricity. There was none
in the cabin. They couldn't read or write. So they just lay in the spaces that
each had claimed, thinking.
It was late when Kaitlyn said into the darkness, "I love you all."
